When I tell people I have a sister with autism, they often give me a sympathetic look and say, “Oh...that must be hard.” I often go along with it and talk about how our family will have to care for her for our entire lives because, let's face it, I’m a privileged white girl and Kyndel is the most interesting thing about me.
But the truth is that I love my sister. Autism and all. So here are 11 awesome things about having a sibling with autism.
1. Repetition doesn’t bother you as much as most people.
Your sibling loves listening to the same songs and watching the same movies over and over again until you can recite all the lines in "Mary Poppins." But honestly, nothing makes your sibling laugh as much as "Step in Time," so you'd happily sit through a few more replays.
2. You’re the most patient person you know.
Sometimes your family doesn’t get to the leave the house until 1 p.m., so you learn to help your sibling get ready in any way possible and suppress all anxious feelings until then. As a kid, this used to drive you crazy, but now you’re used to it and you’ve learned to be so relaxed it’s almost a problem.
3. You’re a bomb babysitter because you’ve been care-giving your whole life.
This sort of depends on where your sibling is on the spectrum, but for those of you with low-functioning siblings, you’re the master of care-giving. You know the games that keep kids entertained and you sometimes forget that poop is supposed to be gross. Kids naturally love you and so do their parents for your literal decades of experience.
4. You get perks when going out.
You always score the best parking spots when you’re with your sibling, and breezing through airport security is the privilege you live for. You feel like a celebrity as the people stuck in line give you looks of shock and envy. Too bad they they weren’t lucky enough to have an autistic family member...
5. Curious stares no longer bother you.
As a kid, you were overly protective of your sibling and would resent every little glance a stranger would flash their way. Over time, you’ve learned that some people are just curious and don’t mean to come off as rude. Yes, some people are jerks, but most simply want to make sense of behavior they aren’t used to.
6. You’ve had to mature faster than most people your age.
Sometimes you feel like just another parent to your sibling, which hasn’t always been easy. Practically everything decided by your family has been done with your sibling predominantly in mind. You understand that they have to get more attention than you so you’ve learned to accept it, but sometimes you wonder what it would be like to have a “normal” family dynamic.
7. Your friends would always act weird when they’d first come over…
“Oh... You want to come to my house this time? Well I should probably tell you something first…”
As a kid, this conversation was one you’d always feel obligated to give because you were terrified that your friend would think your sibling was odd. Now you probably don’t even bother because now your friends are mature enough to understand.
8. But you cherish the ones who now treat your sibling like a friend.
It warms your heart when you meet a rare friend who easily warms up to your sibling. Those are the ones meant to last.
9. You pity your friends who have “neurotypical” siblings.
You don't steal each other's clothes and you've never had a screaming match. When you see your friends fighting with their siblings constantly, you can't help but feel like you have it better.
10. You're open-minded to understanding different kinds of people.
You've spent most of your life not understanding why your sibling does most of the things they do, yet you trust and support them. So when it comes to understanding people of different genders, sexualities, races, religions, etc... You know that it doesn't matter what you would do in their situation. Everyone behaves in a way that makes the most sense to them, and you respect that.
11. You know that autism isn’t a disease or a flaw.
It’s what makes your sibling special, and you wouldn’t change them for the world.
