When I was younger I spent my life wishing it away.
I was so ready to leave for college, and I new exactly what I wanted to be. I was going to be a nurse, and there was no one that could change my mind.
Though, my seventeen-year-old self knew absolutely nothing about what it was like to face the real world, to grow spiritually, to face tragedy, to live on my own, and believe it or not, I didn’t even know that what I wanted to be wasn’t really what I wanted to be at all.
Now, my twenty-year-old-self has learned many things. I have learned that it’s okay to feel lost, to feel broken, to feel like your life is going in ten different directions and you don’t know which way to go.
I am currently a junior in college. I have wasted money and time on classes that I didn’t need because I’ve changed my major so many times.
And guess what?
I’m still twenty years old feeling as lost as ever and still trying to figure out what I want to be.
This is a decision that has an impact on the rest of my life, and I ask myself every day: “How do I know what I’m being called to do”?
I believe that God sends us in these directions of confusion because He is trying to show us our purpose in life. He is molding us into the person that we are supposed to be and is taking this time to show us the reasons why He is leading us to the calling that he is.
I see so many people who are my age and already in their programs and they will be graduating within the next year. When I see that, I get so upset and once again start wishing my life away and rushing things. I begin to wish that was me that had it all figured out.
Then, I step back and remind myself of these verses:
Make me know Your ways, O LORD; Teach me Your paths. Lead me in Your truth and teach me. For You are the God of my salvation; For You I wait all the day. Psalm 25:4-5
In all your ways submit to Him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:6
These two verses show me that we need to be still and stop trying to control our own paths. God has everything under control and if we just put every ounce of our trust into him then we have nothing to worry about. He will reveal what our path has in store, we just have to let go and let him show it to us.
So, the bottom line is that it’s okay to have no clue what your being called to do.
It’ okay to see all your friends getting married, graduating from college, and having babies, because one day that’s going to be you.
We are a work in progress and we just have to trust God one phase at a time.
And spoiler alert: His plan is far better than we could ever imagined on our own.
