When I Finally Came To Accept Dad Was Not Home Anymore
Relationships

When I Finally Came To Accept Dad Was Not Home Anymore

Embracing the role a single mother at home

6
When I Finally Came To Accept Dad Was Not Home Anymore
shutterstock

Nowadays divorces are more frequent than ever. People get married, have problems, separate, and finally divorce. This almost sounds like an automative procedure, and it's sad but somehow true. It is the exact same procedure that the marriage of my parents went through. And 15 years later, I am still somehow affected by this phenomena.

It is not a discussion based on who is responsible for this to happen because honestly, I finally came to accept and understand that it is nobody's. It it how life works. People sometimes cannot come to an agreement, or understand each other; or even respect the differences each person has. Quite frankly, in most of the cases is a matter of matureness. But not 100% of the time. Sometimes it is because two people can not live together. Their interpersonal problems can cause danger to those around and period. It does not work.

I came to understand what was happening between my parents when I graduated from elementary school. I didn't know why my father was not living at home, why I could only see him a few days a month, and why he stopped having an active parent type of role in my life. I would only see him during the weekends (some), and from time to time (extremely rare) after practice on week days. It was something weird, I couldn't go home to find dad, it was only mom. Although mom have done a great job taking care of me and my brother, still I have a mom and a dad, and if either is missing, for those who have been in this situation, it is not even close to the same feeling (which actually, I don't remember) of having both parents at home. Probably life is somewhere close to perfect when mom and dad are at home. When you don’t have permission from one or the other, you go to the other one and try to negotiate. This way you can somehow get away with a “No!” for a party on friday night. But in my case, I was stuck with my mom’s decision. It was final and definite, couldn’t be changed.

P.S. - I hated that.

At first, when I was younger and naive, I didn’t understand all this. Why it was happening, and most important what was happening. It wasn't until one good day, tired of all the drama between my parents, I sat them together in one table and I asked “What is wrong with you guys, why don’t you live at home anymore dad, and why are you always fighting?”. They got shocked, it was the first time in many years that I finally confronted my parents. They didn’t know what to answer. Until my father, after looking at my mom, says “My mother and I got divorced several years ago”. I was drowned in an emotion of mixed feelings. Anger on one side, because all they did was fight, and sadness because my life was never going to be the same.

It took me years to understand, accept, and continue my life with my parents living indifferent places. At first I didn’t want to accept it, but I embraced it. It is the best thing anybody can do to be able to live happy and comfortable seeing your mom or dad dating a person that does not relate to you in any way. Having two different homes to go, with different rules, ideologies, perception of things, and ways of raising children, ultimately having two completely different roles and perception of what mom and dad is. Because one thing I still don’t remember, is being at home with my mother and my dad. And that will bother me for the rest of my life.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

-Having struggled with acne prone skin for years, I was cautious to try a new serum on top of the other products I've come to trust.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Your Social Activism May Actually Benefit From A Cleansing Social Media Detox

In the craziest year of our lives, sometimes there's value in taking a break.

We are living through, unequivocally, one of the most dangerous, unstable, chaotic periods of any of our lives. From COVID-19 to crises of police brutality to the mass exploitation of the poor by mega-corporations, the world outside seems to be looking more dystopic every day. What can be done about it? For many, activism involves heavily posting on social media to keep others aware. However, this comes with a net negative cost — increased levels of anxiety, depression, and hopelessness about the state of the world. Why might this be? After all, in past eras activists have endured comparable and greater levels of abuse and relentless torment from oppressors. Why, now, are people getting so easily burnt out?

Keep Reading... Show less

Reading is a relaxing activity that provides many benefits. Everybody reads books (when they are not watching Netflix, chatting on social media, or making Tik Tok videos) to distract themselves from reality for a while. Many do not realize the positive impact that books have like reducing stress, assisting with sleep, improving cognitively, and strengthening the mind. In honor of National Book Day, there are many great novels that you can read to mark this special holiday. Here are the best ones to check out.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

5 Things You Need To Know Before You Watch 'Arrested Development' On Netflix

"Her?" Yes, she's an amazing show! (You'll get this joke after you watch the show).

Netflix

"Arrested Development" is an award-winning sitcom that aired for three seasons on Fox beginning in 2003, and then was picked up by Netflix for a fourth season in 2013, and then again for a final season in 2018.

However, it seems to remain one of the world's most underrated and under-appreciated shows of all time. Although this article alone won't be enough to skyrocket the show to Netflix's top 10, I hope that it will open people's eyes to the value and quality of the show.

Keep Reading... Show less

I have always felt left out because of how I look and who I am. I have always felt like the elephant in the room, literally. I have always been shamed for my size. For the longest time, I cared so much about what I wear and who I wore certain things in front of. I never wanted to wear shirts that would show a lot of my arm, located above my elbow. I wouldn't wear shorts that didn't go to the tip of my knees, at least. I never wore anything remotely tight, where you could see every curve, roll, or imperfection. I was so insecure about myself, and not many of my friends knew.

Keep Reading... Show less

Being a pharmacy technician never held as many risks as it does now. Exposure too hazardous conditions were little to none, and garbing up was only conducted in IV compounding. But, now, in order to give nurses the medications they need to help their patients, they need us, pharmacy technicians.

Keep Reading... Show less
Swoon

I Asked My Boyfriend His Opinion On Liking Other Girls’ Pictures, And, Spoiler Alert, It's Cheating

"When you get into a relationship and you're in love, you have to realize that liking photos is for the single lifestyle."

Ladies, listen up. If you are in a relationship with a guy and he is liking other girls' pictures on social media, then it's a red flag. A man who can look at someone else and show interest by liking it means he doesn't care about your feelings AT ALL.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

Celebrities Stealing Designs From Small Fashion Labels Is NOT A Good Look, And They Need To Pay Up

When larger, more established figures or brands steal from lesser-known independent creators, they are taking opportunities away from these creators while also profiting from someone else's work and claiming it as their own.

Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B recently collaborated on their new single "WAP," with the music video also being released on Friday. Both Megan Thee Stallion and Cardi B posted photos of themselves on Instagram to celebrate the premiere of "WAP." An independent designer quickly noticed that the rappers' matching tops were copies of a top she had designed last year.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

When You Have A Disability, Finding A Job Is Twice As Hard, Believe Me, I Know

We have got to create a safer work environment for people with disabilities.

"My advice to other disabled people would be, concentrate on things your disability doesn't prevent you from doing well, and don't regret the things it interferes with. Don't be disabled in spirit as well as physically." – Stephen Hawking

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

7 Books That Are NOT In The Young Adult Genre That Will Change Your Life

Young Adult isn't the only genre that exists, so here are seven books that any book lover wanting to try something new will love.

One of the most popular genres in literature that everyone has read at least one book from is Young Adult fiction. Now, I personally can say that, in the past, I have been one of those people that only read from the YA section of the bookstore.
While there is absolutely nothing wrong with just reading one genre, it's good sometimes to venture out of your reading comfort zone into the other book genres of the literary world.

In a previous article, I discussed the importance and power of words. The perfect example of this is literature and its impact on the world. Books have always played a crucial part in human lives, from how we are able to expand our knowledge to how we pass our time.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments