The best advice I have ever received is to know the difference between the things you can change and the things you cannot. It seems so simple, almost like it isn’t even advice; it sounds like a process of separation our brains should do naturally. But when I analyze the problems in my own life and other lives, I realize that it is very difficult to distinguish the difference.
I feel like I am always hearing people say, “This just always happens to me.” One of the hardest lessons I have ever had to learn is to trust what life has in store for us. I think it is key to know that things happen for a reason. Whether you can change the situation or not, you can always change your attitude and how you handle it. If this situation “always happens to you”, it's probably so that you take away a valuable lesson from it. We will face the same situations continually if we blame the outcome completely on external factors. Believing you have the power to control your situation is half the battle. The other half is accepting the parts of life that you cannot alter.
We often complain about things that are totally under our control. Over and over, I hear things such as: “He just makes me so upset BUT I love him so I can’t do anything about it." When in reality, everyone has the ability to communicate what they want with the people they care about. We say things like, “That is so cool that she does *insert cool thing*, I could never do that.” However, chances are, you are very capable of learning a new skill but fear is holding you back. We make up excuses that justify why we should stay in our comfort zone, when what we want is usually right outside of it. It is not that we cannot change these things, but that we are scared to take the leap to actually do it. I honestly believe it is because we don’t believe in ourselves that we have the power to make change- but we do.
When it comes to the things we cannot change, acceptance is our only choice. We cannot change the families we are born into, the body type we have, or our IQs. What we can do is realize the uniqueness our qualities bring to the world. No one has it all, but everyone has something amazing about them. Instead of dwelling on the things we cannot change, we must accept them unapologetically. This is easier said than done. It is difficult to be content with what we have in a world that promotes the concept of “more”. However, I think seeing the difference in what we can change and cannot is a huge factor in reaching our goals and becoming the people we want to be.
