It seems like only yesterday I was playing in the dirt with my friends at recess. We would hide out from the sun under the big green dinosaur slide and pretend to be adults with families while serving our classmates "cakes" made out of smushed together dirt with mulch sprinkled on top. Times were simple when all life contained were carefree smiles, timeless laughter and endless dreams. Barbie got married and went on to live her fabulous life with her adult job. Rooms were full of baby dolls that always smelled of plastic and never cried unless you turned a button (does anyone else remember those?) and life was full of promises. Oh, how nice adult life seemed. When I was about 14, a small website called Pinterest graced social media. I am not going to lie, I, just like every other girl, have my wedding, house, future children and future children's' lives all planned out on Pinterest boards. Pinterest made that even more popular than it already was: planning for the future and dreaming of the life that you wish to have. But when did that future become today?
It is so strange to log onto Facebook and see people that I grew up playing house with having engagement rings on their fingers. People that I went to school with walk around with babies on their hip. People that are my age have on their business suit and are working big adult jobs. When did that happen? When did the world around me evolve into one where I was the adult? Where did the time go? The better question, however, is when did I grow up? What happened to the baby face and the braces and the terrible sense of fashion? Innocent eyes were coated in mascara and training bras were outgrown. I longed to be 13 and to finally be a teenager. Now that I am almost 20, the idea of actually wanting to be a teenager sounds crazy. Next, I longed to be 16, for a driver's license and freedom. Nowadays, driving feels like a chore, and I hardly leave my house. Senior year came and went, and graduation day was filled with tears. Colleges were applied to, and majors were changed on multiple occasions. Friends were made, and friends were lost. I fell in love and I had my heart broken. Over the years, without ever even realizing it, all the small things have turned into the things that made me who I am. Day by day, moment by moment, and one lesson at a time I grew up. Every mistake that I made and tear that was shed led to this. Without ever even realizing it, the things that were once future have passed into the past. The future I have always dreamed of became today.
My friend and I just sat around one day talking about how much had changed since high school. It seems like every time I turn around, someone else is getting married or moving away. It's crazy how fast time moves. I know there are some people who want everything life has to offer at this very moment. I am not one of those people. I want to be a grown up, but I also wanna spend all day in bed watching TV. I want to have total freedom, but I am also not responsible enough to get in bed at a decent time. I want to be one of those fit adults who fixes the healthy meals and lives at the gym, but I also wanna eat pizza all day and live off cookie dough. I am complex. So is life. One day, I will have my white picket fence dream and my all-out adult job, but for now that is still in the future. There will always be something in the future. I can't imagine the day when I feel entirely like an adult, but I don't think there has ever been a day where I have felt entirely like a child. The point is that there is no point in always wanting the moments that you don't have yet in life because eventually you will run out of moments. If you spend all your time looking around you and preparing for the future, eventually you will look around and realize that the future has passed to the past.
