When The Clock Stroke November

When The Clock Stroke November

Halloween ended, and then BAM! Cuffing Season began.

Halloween has ended and the clock has struck November. And what does that mean? Cuffing season,Bonfires, No-Shave-November, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and a quickly-approaching 2018.

Currently, we're at the peak of Cuffing Season.

What is Cuffing Season? According to Urban Dicitionary, "During the Fall and Winter months, people who would normally rather be single or promiscuous find themselves along with the rest of the world desiring to be "Cuffed" or tied down by a serious relationship. The cold weather and prolonged indoor activity causes singles to become lonely and desperate to be cuffed."

This is when we trade in our one-date-dudes to second dates. We trade our swimsuits and sundresses for flannels and hoodies. Gone are the smoothies and welcomed is the hot cocoa. The first leaf falls and the first DM is sent. This ends with a kiss under the mistletoe, followed with one under fireworks, and hopefully doesn't end with a box of chocolates.

The Cuffing Season Schedule is as follows:

Scouting: August 1-31

Drafting: September 1-30

Tryouts: October 1-31

Pre-Season: November 1-30

Cuffing Season: December 1-January 15

Playoffs: January 16-February 13

Championship Game: February 14

*This schedule is subject to change due to inclement feelings.*

We're a little behind schedule, because of school and the way guys are, etc. . . but now that we know the schedule, we can jump in, quickly find (a) victim(s), cuff him, at least till we get our Valentines candy and flowers.

Here's a summary of the schedule:

The Scouting Period is whenever you notice the cute guy in class, the star player on the team, the boy with the beautiful smile on Instagram, and basically just noticing all the cuties that surround you. You stalk him.

In Drafting, you begin to talk to these guys: "Hey, can I take a picture of your notes? I missed the last class, and don't want to get behind," which could eventually lead to, "do you want to study together sometime?" -- "You played a great game last week! I can't wait to watch the next one." -- *likes a post from 2013* *adds him on Snapchat* *slides up on his story*

While girls have our own standards for Tryouts, guys do, too. According to a survey, here are some qualities for girls to make it through a guy's Tryouts during Cuffing Season:

1. She must smell good.

2. She must have stability.

3. She must have the "Rihanna Factor." (interesting and cool enough)

4. She can't be basic.

5. She can't be heavy on social media.

(For a full list and descriptions, visit https://www.bet.com/style/living/2017/10/17/men-co...)

If a guy doesn't meet your standards, then he doesn't make it through Tryouts.

Pre-Season is probably one of the most important periods of cuffing season. And it's NOW. It's when you decide is second-date-worthy. Summer is full of one dates, swimsuits, and careless living, but in November, you need someone to cuddle with by the fire and roast marshmallows and sip hot cocoa with. . .which means a second date with one of the guys who made Tryouts.

November 1 marked the beginning of Pre-Season. This is also the period in which we tend to catch the feels, introduce our friends, and begin talking to our family. This is when you text him and say, "hey, want to go to a bonfire with me?" This is when you begin to schedule your guys in. Now, you can quit leaving an open schedule for just "whoever." This is the month where you narrow your choices down and prepare for Cuffing Season.

Cuffing Season is when you make your choice and cuff the guy. . . which sounds like an S&M move, but it's not. He meets your family. He hangs out with your friends. He makes social media status. He takes you to look at Christmas lights. You buy Christmas Gifts for one another. It feels serious, but you have to remind yourself that it's only for a season. This lasts until January 15.

January 16 beings the Playoffs. You watch him more closely. Does he text other people while the two of you are together? Does he Snapchat other girls? Do you find yourself watching his Snap score? Has he posted you yet? Can you see yourself with him in at least 3 months? During the Playoffs, you start checking all the boxes to ready yourself for the Championship Gama aka Valentines' Day.

This is the day you make your decision to keep him or to drop him. The decision is easier to make based on the fact of whether or not he got your flowers and chocolate, planned a date, or some other romantic gesture. Did he not think about a Valentines' with you? Drop him. Because you do have a back-up, right? ;)

Apparently, those in the North are most likely to feel the need to be cuffed because of the temperature, but as a Southerner, there's nothing like spending hours by a bonfire, listening to Luke Bryan, and talking the night away. . . even if it is 70 degrees.

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College: The New Chapter

The things you probably are stressing a little too much over. 

If you are anything like me, change can be almost smothering. I hate changes, and college is full of change. I spent my last few weeks of high school and the following summer completely stressed over what the future held. How will the classes go? What if I don’t know anybody? Are professors as strict and cruel as they say? If I barely passed high school, how would I do well in college of all things? I worried over these questions and any others you could possibly think of yourself. Let me be real with you, college is scary to think about. Everyone has anxieties over it. It’s a normal process. 

First, let’s talk about the changes. College is way more laid back than high school. You won’t have the same classes every single day and sometimes you may even only go to class two times a week (if you schedule them that way). Remember those days watching the clock tick away and waiting for the bell to signal that you can leave class finally? If you’re still in high school, good news. In college, professors can let out students earlier after finishing exams or lectures. I’ve had classes last semester where teachers would let us out twenty minutes after class had started. I’m sure this isn't a case for every professor, but it is something to look towards. These are examples of good changes. And most of the changes in college are in the “good” category. However, with me, I in a way mourned over having no close friends or people to talk to. I missed seeing my friends walk by me. I was a little lonely at first. This change killed me. I wanted more than anything to have someone I could laugh with during breaks. You see, I had to learn quickly that sometimes you may lose touch with your old pals from high school. Therefore, if you were/are as shy as I am, you had to come out of your bubble a bit and be comfortable where you were at. 

Professors are there for you. Trust me, if you put in the work and effort, they will do everything they can to help you reach your goals. Do not be afraid to email questions or concerns or talk to them privately after class, especially if you are confused about something! Take it from someone who never did this in high school herself. Personally, I feel like in college it‘s easier to focus and stay on track. Keep up with your assignments. A planner is your new best friend. Study hard, but don’t stress yourself out last minute. Allow yourself time to let information sink in over a period of days. You may be saying,“ But how am I going to manage college if I couldn’t even hardly pass high school?” Let me tell you, it’s easier than you allow yourself to think. Be willing! I had a hard time with high school myself. I had a low GPA and hardly ever actually studied. Now, I have all A’s, a 4.0 GPA, and I am on honor roll in my first semester of college. In high school, I was lucky if I had a C or B. It is possible! 

If you are currently about to become a college student yourself in maybe a few months or in a year’s time, this is for you. Don’t stress. I know it’s easier said than done (hypocritical me). Believe me though, if you spend your last moments with your friends all together worrying over college, you will regret it. My advice is simply to enjoy the last remaining days in high school. Take those silly photos for Instagram with the caption “senyas!”. Make memories. Laugh at the lunch table as your friends tell their crazy stories or thoughts. Prepare yourselves these last few weeks with the memories of everyone surrounding you. Go to those concerts, games, and other school events. Lastly, walk across that stage on your graduation day saying “I did it and I’m going to do it even bigger now.” These are your moments that you will have on your heart forever. 

So, don’t stress over the college days coming. You will be absolutely fine. You will succeed. You will change the world. 


A college freshman

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To The New Boy I've Let Into My Life

I don't know how to thank you for showing me there is better out there.

I pray your intentions are good and pure.

I've had my heart broken so many times that it has become hard for me to let new people into my life. I have been lied to, destroyed. I have felt like I would never recover and that I would always feel disappointed and broken.

But then I met you. I was cautious at first. I always will be and that is what happens after you get your heart broken. It was hard to hide away from you when you showed me how truly sweet and understanding you were. I told you about the ways I had been hurt in the past, and you sympathized with me, telling me I deserved better. You told me the same things that my best friends told me. You told me I was beautiful, and that I deserved to be respected.

You opened doors for me, you paid for every date when I offered and even begged for you to let me pay just this once. You listened to every word I said, and you understood my fears about relationships and commitment. You understood me in a way that I had never experienced before. I started to feel comfortable around you. Spending time with you became intoxicating.

It felt different this time. You did not belittle me or give me an attitude. You didn't yell at me or criticize me for asking "dumb questions". You treated me so respectfully. I did not even know it was possible to meet someone like you, and I started to feel like my standards before you were way too low. You exceeded every other guy I had dated.

My parents were weary. They were just as cautious, if not more. They kept telling me to take it slow, along with my friends. They were tired of seeing me sad, but it was so hard to take things slow with you. I felt ready to jump into something with you because of the safety I was feeling.

At first, I was still sad about my ex. It's not like I wanted him back, but thinking about him being with someone else made me a little sad. I was still hurt about the things he put me through. I was hurt that I did not respect and love myself to end things earlier. I was disappointed in myself for being sad about him still because I knew you were so much better than him, but you were patient and understanding about it.

I started to feel happy again. I started to feel like I was connecting with someone in a way I had not been familiar with before. I noticed we had a lot in common, too. My ex always said we were so much alike but now that I look back on it, we really were not anything alike. We had very few things in common and we could never agree on things to do.

But, you were so different. We enjoyed the same things, we could agree on things so easily. I did not have to pretend to be different for you. You made it very clear that you were going to care for me and I did not have to change for you. I did not have to hide my depression or anxiety, you did not make me feel like it was a burden.

I know this is just the beginning but I cannot thank you enough for the ways you have made me feel, and how relieved I feel to have met someone new that has made me realize there is better out there. I feel beyond blessed to know that I have met someone who is always there for me and does not think my problems are irrational and crazy. Please don't let me down.

Cover Image Credit: realmendrinkwhiskey.com

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