Is it Really Worth It
Start writing a post
Relationships

Is it Really Worth It

When Being "Good" Finally Starts Feeling Wrong

245
Is it Really Worth It
Her Campus

Trying to be a "good girl" sucks.

We're told to always be on our best behavior.

Be social, but not too social so you have balance in your life.

To smile, be polite, and not do things that always keep the spotlight on us.

To find your niche or your team or your people and stick with them. Then, everything will turn out okay. You'll have your close friends and acquaintances you wouldn't mind being close with.

Well, I guess I missed the f**king seminar on "How to Make Close Friends". Or maybe I never got an invitation to begin with.

I've never really been the popular kid. I didn't get invited to a lot of birthday parties or sleepovers or public outings growing up, from elementary to high school. I'm not used to seeing the little notification on your smartphone that tells you that you've got a text message or have been tagged in something.

And that never really bothered me...or rather, I told myself it wouldn't bother me.

Now, here I am, 21 years old, in my Junior year of college, in the honors program, with a scholarship, taking part in so many things...

I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do drugs. I focus on my studies, I try to be as polite as possible, to be a "good girl..."

I've never felt so isolated in my life.

There are all these news articles and blogs that stress the importance of not getting so tied up in the number of followers or "friends" you have, but in today's society, it's so hard not to. It's hard not to get a little rush of joy when someone tags you in a post or sends you a snapchat or a text message at 2 a.m. with some random meme because it means: "Yes, someone was thinking about me."

Having the complete opposite of this is like sitting at the end of the dinner table: you're both there and you're not.

You can hear the conversations, you can see the other people around you talking and laughing, but you're not actually involved.

All those people who go out every Friday night, drinking or just wasting time or not taking their responsibilities as seriously as they should that your betters tell you not to be like?

They always seem to be happier, having the time of their lives with friends.

I don't know, maybe my personality and interests are just terrible or I'm over thinking everything and this is all just me venting.

But I feel like I'm asking a legitimate question, addressing a feeling I'm sure everyone has felt at some point in their lives.

How, we can do everything "right," do everything in our power to play by the rules and be a good teammate, and still feel like we're failing.

That no matter how hard we try to be more sociable, we're still at the end of the dinner table.

Waiting for someone to finally turn to us and catch us up on all the things we've missed.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Olivia White

"The American flag does not fly because the wind moves it. It flies from the last breath of each solider who died protecting it."

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Separation Anxiety in Pets

Separation anxiety in pets is a real thing and recognizing the warning signs is important.

230614

Since March, Covid-19 required most of the world to quarantine in their homes. Majority of people ended up working from home for nearly five months. This meant pet owners were constantly with their pets giving them attention, playing with them, letting them out etc. Therefore, when the world slowly started to open up again and pet owners began returning to normal life work schedules away from the home, pet owners noticed a difference in the way their pet acted. Many pets develop separation anxiety especially during this crazy time when majority people were stuck inside barely leaving the house.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The invention of photography

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

372877

The history of photography is the recount of inventions, scientific discoveries and technical improvements that allowed human beings to capture an image on a photosensitive surface for the first time, using light and certain chemical elements that react with it.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

Exposing Kids To Nature Is The Best Way To Get Their Creative Juices Flowing

Constantly introducing young children to the magical works of nature will further increase the willingness to engage in playful activities as well as broaden their interactions with their peers

1768312

Whenever you are feeling low and anxious, just simply GO OUTSIDE and embrace nature! According to a new research study published in Frontiers in Psychology, being connected to nature and physically touching animals and flowers enable children to be happier and altruistic in nature. Not only does nature exert a bountiful force on adults, but it also serves as a therapeutic antidote to children, especially during their developmental years.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments