I have always had deep-rooted insecurities. Granted, I rarely show anyone or let them know how I am feeling, trust me, they're there. Dealing with the acting industry and modeling made me find the perfect unhealthy ways to pick myself apart and compare myself to others. "I wish I was skinnier." "I wish I could get a guy." "I wish I looked like her." I don't know why I let these stupid "wishes" control me. They don't define me, but I've sure come close to letting them. This day and age we always want to be someone, there is a difference between admiring and impersonating. When I look at a picture, I see all the things I'm not instead of appreciating what I am. Everything is just thrown out there now and all we see are the perfect pictures drawn through image—I must say people do a great job of making things look perfect.

I'm tired of always comparing myself. I know it is stupid that I even let myself do that or think what I think, but it isn't something that can easily be helped. My self-worth has been absurdly defined by others, not because it should be but because I've let it. Compliments are the last thing I want to hear ever and even when they are given, for the most part, I don't actually believe them or know how to take them. Why do I let other people control how I see myself? I know I'm not the only one that does this, not like that makes it any better, but it is still something everyone deals with... right?

There comes a time when reality strikes and the "strong independent you" fades into obscurity. When I was younger, I dealt with eating disorders and I know, to this day and probably forever, I will deal with body dysmorphia. Here we go—it's a cliche tale of girl with insecurities, but we all have them. The issue is that instead of girls building each other up, we all tear each other down. Why can't we admire instead of compare? A lot of it has to do with internal struggles we all face, but there are also the external add-ons of peers and social media. As bad as it is to say, I've definitely let guys make me feel like I'm not worth it. I've let girls make me feel ugly. I've let myself feel like this. The question is: why? There are things in life that add to my stupid lack of confidence, but its in all of us, the problem is I let it affect me more than I should. A time comes where a dose of reality needs to be thrown in my face. Cool, there are things that I will never have, but what about the things I do? I need to embrace and love those things. We all need to embrace and love those things. I guess this is my "coming out" party for acknowledging what I have always hidden. I see amazing girls try and change themselves to make them into other people, but guess what, we are all amazing and unique and why do we want to all fit into a crowd? STAND OUT FROM A CROWD. BE ORIGINAL. BE ONE OF A KIND. Stop with this stupid desire to be someone else. Stop letting guys have the upper hand because, guess what, they are seriously not superior.

Sorry for the tale of the girl with insecurities, but again, guess what, sorry not sorry. If me being vulnerable and finally showing the side I don't show helps even one person or makes one girl feel like all the dumb things she's been thinking aren't dumb, then it's worth it. It's worth being bare and exposed in order to help other people feel a little less insecure. I need to embrace the insecurities I have. All the things about myself I love and hate make me who I am, and I may not always love that person, but I need to make a commitment to try. We all do. So why the hell don't we try?