Have you ever asked yourself: what is love? Not just saying it but actually showing it. Now days, I feel like it’s hard to find relationships that are everlasting because this generation of people (90s and 2000s babies) have a different outlook on love, marriage and children.

Back in the day, people cherished their spouse, respected one another, and made it their honor to marry their one and only. Had kids, took care of them and most importantly they cared more about their kids education, what they know and can do instead of just “how fly” they are or what brand of clothing they are wearing.

This generation of young adults want the benefits of being in a relationship but they don’t want to put in the work for a committed relationships. I see a lot of people being okay with what I would call the “side chicks, boyfriends number 2 or friends with benefits”. There are more babies in this generation without their mother or father, and maybe no parent at all.

Our men aren’t gentlemen anymore and our ladies are losing their value, degrading themselves. Social media is taking over the world. People are more concerned about how many likes and followers they have online, complaining and letting the world know their problems instead going out and doing what they have to do to fix it. A lot of people are more worried the looks and what they other person can do for them instead of their personality and how they treat them.

After analyzing my own personal mistakes in a relationship, and others as well, I learned that relationships take time and growth. You have to take your spouse needs and desires into account when making decisions. Be willing to resolve issues and listen to you spouse. Strive for great communication, and be open with one another. Know that no matter what you’re always going to always learn new things about one another as time go on. Men should respect their woman as well as the ladies respect your men. Not just say you love them but show them. When the time is right to tie the knot, be loyal to your vows.

I believe a couple that prays together stays together, and having a relationship with God is very important. God provides us with guidelines to help built the right kind of relationship. One of my favorite, Ephesians 5:22-31, says:

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”