"Even after all this time, the sun never says to the earth, 'You owe me.' Look what happens with a love like that, It lights the whole sky." - Hafiz, Persian Poet of the 1300's
The question has been asked before, around the dinner table, among friends and colleagues, but the Black Eyed Peas proposed to question to the entire world back in June of 2003 – Where is the love?
Especially nowadays, I ask myself this question on a daily basis. I ask it when I see more headlines about people getting killed in the Middle East - women, children and innocent civilians. I ask it when the television comes on and another unarmed African American has been shot and killed by police. I ask it every time our nation goes into a frenzy after yet another school shooting and people go all up in arms, so to speak, in favor of gun control but never long enough for anything to change.
Where is the love?
As a child of the millennial generation, growing up along side my peers, I have come to notice a stigma around the word “love.” When I was younger I admittedly fell right into the trap as I followed along with the stigma, realizing that to tell someone you love them is a really big deal with DIRE consequences.
Until all of a sudden it hit me. I was scared of the word “love.” My friends and I had no problem gossiping about people we supposedly hated, but rarely did we talk about the people we loved.
I feel like people are so afraid to use the word “love,” so afraid of the consequences they believe come along with a word that carries so much weight.
So instead we shy away from it, only to use it when talking about pizza or ice cream or puppies but denying its use for humans all together.
There is such a stigma around the word “love” it has become almost “uncool” to use it. “You love them…dude you’re whipped!” No one gets poked fun at for hating someone. Imagine that…“ooohhhh you hate her, sissy!”
But love is cool. It feels good to be loved. In fact, it is probably one of the best feelings in the world to know that someone cares about you. A word like “love” should be used openly and freely, especially towards human beings. There shouldn’t be any consequences for its use if it is being used unselfishly and honestly, expecting nothing in return.
That is the kind of love we need more of in the world. Unselfish love. Understanding love. Love without judgment.
I know we as human beings are capable of this unselfish, purely generous form of love. We know of it as “a mother’s love.”
Picture a parent holding their newborn baby, showing them all kinds of love and affection. All of a sudden the word comes out with ease. It is said over and over again even though the baby has no possible way of understanding what it means. No possible way of responding to them. Their love in that moment is therefore unrequited love. Their intentions entirely about giving and little about receiving anything in return. It is parents who show there children how to love. Any child's first experience with love tends to come from their parents or a parental figure.
Still to this day, despite being 20 years old and not living at home, my parents tell me they love me every day. They know how busy I am and may not always get the chance to respond right away but they expect nothing in return. And no, it is not their job or duty to do so as my parent. They are simply being honest and generous with their love, giving it little to no thought at all. Without this source of love sometimes I don’t know how I would get by.
So what if we weren’t so afraid of the word “love”? We as a generation could change so much of the way things are by embracing the concept of love rather than running away from it. You may be afraid to say those four little letters together but people need to know they are loved. The people you care about deserve to hear it as much as possible. And once one person knows they are love that love will spread. They will pass it on to someone else they love. It may sound cheesy but ultimately, love and passion are much more powerful emotions than hate.
I am no longer scared of the word “love”. We as a people cannot be scared of it if we want to see more of it in this world. So quit spreading the hate and start spreading the love.
