I tried avoiding added sugar for a month and here’s what happened:

It didn’t. It didn’t happen. I went strong for about two weeks, but by the end of the second week, I was going on vacation with my family to Quebec. So would it have been worth missing out on the homemade chocolates, sweet crepes, and of course, maple syrup, just as an attempt to diet?

Whole30 program, 30 day clean eating diet, the paleo diet, low carb diet, dairy free diets. The list goes on and on. Whether you’re taking up a diet solely as a challenge, lose weight, or get in shape, why is it so difficult for the average person to follow through? When I told my friends I would try the no added-sugar “diet”, they started telling me about how it takes 21 days to develop a new habit (or break one). Of course, I only lasted 14 days. But, I really wondered what would happen after 21 days; can it really be true?

First of all, I learned that it’s much harder than you think. Sugar is everywhere! I began obsessively checking nutrition labels on everything. Even then you won’t really know if they’re natural sugars or added sugars. Ultimately, looking back and imagining myself checking every label of everything I picked up and googling everything without one, I think it became detrimental to my mental health.

Food shaming became a habit.

Sometimes I would skip meals.

I would look in the mirror and pinch the fat around my body, frustrated. How did I gain so much fat?! Of course, by society’s standards, I am nowhere close to being “fat”.

Every meal I ate would end with: ugh, I can’t believe I just ate that. Why do I eat so much?

Every time I step on the scale, for 2 years now, I disappoint myself. I mean, this has to stop at some point. Either I accept the way I look now, or I take a diet seriously. But I don’t think I’m ready for the first option.

My friends tell me, “you look fine,” “what the hell are you talking about,” “it’s okay, you look healthy.” And yes. I know. I get that. But in some ways, I just don’t feel like myself. I can’t even wear half the clothes that I own! And I certainly don’t have the money to go replace half my wardrobe!

So how do I do it? How can I change?

Well, I wish I could tell you, but I don’t have any answers, yet.

Everyone, at one point in their lives, will struggle with body image (if you haven’t or won’t--which I think is impossible--good for you), and that is why I’m writing this. My relationship with food is not the best, but like with every relationship, you need to put in some effort and trust. What others think should not be impacting your relationship.

Although I hope to shape up and look "better," I accepted the fact that I should at least stop shaming myself for what I eat. That will be my first step into making progress for a mentally and physically healthier life! However, from time to time I know I am bound to feel guilty, but guilt is not the same as shame.

So for everyone who is going through the same struggles I am, don't be ashamed of what you eat! Keep a positive mindset. Eat what you want no matter what society says. Just be confident :).