If you know anything about me you'd know that my life is basically so boring to the point that if I was to get an Oscar, that wouldn't even be possible. But when something does happen in my life it usually goes so bad that I end being so emotional it's hard for me to cooperate with the events of what happened. My friend always says that my life is like a movie especially with the drama that happens. It's not like I want the drama to happen, for some reason drama just tends to follow me wherever I go. It's not like I choose to go for it.

Anyway, besides the point, life has been sorta hectic for me. Just with everything that has been happening. Basically, with school and boys and just LIFE. Life sucks dude, it sucks so much. For some reason, life always finds a way to screw me over and doesn't let me be happy when I want to be. I thought I left all the drama and self-hate in 2018 but within the few weeks of January life hit me so hard, I got sick. LOL I mean I don't mean that I got sick because all of the drama, it was that I just got the flu from someone at school and that sickness hit me so hard along with all the drama I seemed to intertwine myself in without even leaving my apartment? That was the confusing part but I'm just glad that everything is over now and that I know that something like that will never happen to me again.

Ah, boys. We love them, don't we? I'm actually SO SO done with them. I know that I've said that before but this time I've actually cut myself off because this shit is getting ridiculous. Guys are little so annoying. And I've been fed up with the way they treat me, I deserve better and until then I'm going to continue to focus on myself and make that my priority in life at the moment because that's important to me- the betterment of my mind and body. And once I do all that, I will be able to see myself in a better mindset and not degrade myself when I shouldn't.

I need more self-confidence and eventually, I will get there and that equation doesn't involve any boys so that means that I must cut them all out if I can. Which is what I will be working on for the rest of the semester along with my class load which is to the maximum this semester because all the classes that I'm taking are all pertinent to my major and my major is so much harder than most people's. And that requires more work and thinking on my part and I can't waste that brain space on stupid things like boys, who are honestly a waste of time and energy.