Although this can be a difficult thing to talk about, self-love and confidence are two concepts that almost everyone wrestles with on a daily basis.
Men and women of all ages struggle with the urge to compare attractiveness and skills. It’s fairly common to see how a person, an action or a single photo can deteriorate self-love.
As a young woman in the 21st century, it’s quite easy to look at every other girl and compare skin tone, hair style, body type, etc. It’s almost like comparison is naturally jointed with social media and the selfie-sharing phenomenon.
I’ve witnessed many of my friends and peers deliberately tear themselves down after seeing someone else's photo or a post on social media, verbally noting that they “wished they looked like her.”
Listening to a friend who I think is beautiful say things like that is upsetting, but then I catch myself thinking that I do the exact same act almost every day.
Why will we deliberately insult ourselves, but when someone we love does so it’s a crime? Why don’t we notice our own acts of self-deprecation as a negative thing?
Recently my friend and I had a long conversation about our unintentional desire to satisfy everyone but ourselves. Neither of us could come up with a justifiable solution, nor a reason for such an action. Maybe we want to say the things we think others are thinking? Maybe we expect to be attacked by others in real life and on social media, so it’s like we are beating them to the punch?
Why are we so quick to judge ourselves and to insult aspects of our unique person, in a society where body confidence and acceptance is highly promoted?
A few years ago I came across a Pinterest post that said to imagine speaking to a young girl the way that you speak to yourself every day. Imagine talking to your younger self and saying such nasty things about yourself.
This was a hard thing to think about for a long time, but I realized that it’s not fair to talk to myself in such a manner to protect myself from other people’s judgement.
Recently my roommate showed me a video for The Maine song “Am I Pretty?”
In this video, people talk about their insecurities of beauty, their heritage, their sexuality and their entire personality. They say how hard it is to believe that they are good enough and that their future is not bright.
This itself was heartbreaking to watch, but extremely relatable.
We as human beings question every single unique aspect that makes our individual self.
It’s time to accept these flaws and these unique things that contributed to the overwhelming strength and potential that we all have.
Confidence is just a state of mind, but we all need to start respecting ourselves and loving the things we call weaknesses and flaws because those flaws that you pick at someone else wants or they pick at the same thing themselves.
Love yourself the way you love other people.
“You are beautiful because your eyes are different sizes and your lisp gets in between your tongue and teeth every time you try to say "something." You are beautiful because the scar under your chin looks like a spider and because you have a massive fear of heights. You are beautiful because there never has been, nor will there ever be anyone else on this Earth like you. Because your flaws are like fingerprints and should be embraced just like the free will that resides inside. You are not beautiful because of the symmetry in the little squares on your telephone, you are beautiful because "you" are the only "you" this place will ever know.”
-John C. O'Callaghan V. (Lead singer of The Maine)
