The day I experienced my first migraine is a day that will forever hold a place in my memories. If I had known what was going to happen to me that day and what it meant for the future, I would have been shocked.
It was a normal August afternoon at the mall with my sister and grandmother. We were browsing around the stores when I started to feel a little off. I couldn't really explain how I was feeling in that moment, but I tried to look calm — even though on the inside, I was starting to freak out.
Fast forward about 20 minutes and the feeling of off was an understatement. I walked into another store and tried to calm myself down by looking at some jewelry. I saw a necklace and picked it off of its display, when I tried to put it back, I couldn't. I kept trying, but I was missing completely. Not only was I concerned about my sudden loss of motor skills, but then shortly after I started to experience a numbness on only one side of my body. In this moment, a million horrible scenarios went through my head — the scariest and most logical at the time, a stroke.
Next, my vision started to blur and the fluorescent lights in the shop became unbearably bright. I finally told my sister how I was feeling and she, believing I was simply dehydrated, directed me to a bench outside the shop and promised to bring me some water.
On my way out, I took a step and realized how unsteady my stride had become. As I attempted to steady myself, I noticed two girls from my class. When they noticed me, they smiled and said hi. Even in my current state, my instinct instructed me to say hello back. The only problem was, I couldn't. The words were caught somewhere in my mind, unable to come out of my mouth. Now I wasn't just scared, I was terrified!
I made it to the bench and soon after my sister and grandmother were there as well, carrying food and water. Finally, something that will make this all go away, or so I thought. My grandmother handed me some food and asked me how I was feeling. Again, I couldn't really say the words I wanted to and out came a jumbled mess. When she heard this poor of a response to such a simple question, her expression changed from concerned to horrified. I reached for the food, but I couldn't pick it up well enough. My hand and arm had become dead weight.
They were trying to figure out what to do with me next. I kept hearing my grandmother say, "we need to take her to the hospital." That was when it hit me that what was happening was really serious; even my grandma didn't know how to help me. All I wanted to do was get out of the loud chaos of the mall and into my quiet and dark bedroom.
We got into the car and headed for home when I experienced the worst pain of my entire life. It felt like 1,000 knives were being jammed into my head all at once. I couldn't take it anymore and started crying. Why was this happening? And most importantly, what was it?
When I made it back that night, I immediately got into bed and cried myself into a deep sleep. I woke up that next morning feeling much better, but the lingering headache and exhaustion I felt were unfortunate reminders of the previous day's occurrences.
The months after my first migraine were a blur of hospital visits and missed days of class. After having my blood drawn countless times, an MRI, a medication that made my heart rate spike, and a scary night in the ER, there wasn't really any answer or a solution as to why I was getting these migraines. Every time I thought I had come to a real conclusion, something proved me otherwise.
To this day, I still don't really have an answer. All I can do is try my best to take care of myself. And for when a migraine does strike, I always carry a bottle of Excedrin Migraine with me wherever I go. After all of my experiences with migraines, I've come to realize that there are misconceptions about what it really means to have a migraine.
It's not just a headache. The actual headache part of my migraines is such a small part of what actually happens.
It's the fear from others around you: Getting a migraine is a terrifying experience for not only the victim but for others as well. I will never forget the day I got a migraine in class and the looks of fear on my classmates' faces. The worst part was that I couldn't tell them I was going to be okay. I had to just get up and leave with no explanation. The night my mom drove me to the ER is another experience I will never forget. She was so scared and anxious and I felt guilty for putting her through it all.
It's the lingering effects: Not only are migraines a nuisance when they first occur, but the symptoms can sometimes extend into the days following as well. This is known as a migraine hangover. I was scheduled to take my ACT the day after one particularly bad migraine and my body's exhaustion made it very difficult to focus. There have been other times when a migraine has left me foggy for up to a week afterward.
Having migraines has altered every aspect of my life in some way or another. While most people are pretty understanding, there are others who have a hard time believing a simple "headache" is a good enough reason to call in sick to work or miss class.These people fail to realize that there is nothing simple about having a migraine at all. Every experience is unique and no two migraines are ever the same. The only thing that ever stays consistent about them is how scary and traumatic each one is.
The day I had my first migraine, my life was forever altered. Not only for myself and my own personal health, but for others who experience the same thing. I was able to express understanding to these people amidst a very widely misunderstood condition.
