Green Tea.
You really wanted Starbucks, but you just weren’t feeling the calories today. You also decided that you didn’t want water, even though tea is basically glorified water. You got your daily dose of $4 caffeine, but this time you didn’t have to sacrifice the 400 calories that may otherwise come with it. Go, you, for being healthy!
Double Chocolatey-Chip Frappuccino.
You’re in junior high, and you’re a girl. You probably just turned 13, and what better way to enter your teenage years then by celebrating with an introduction to Starbucks. You’re not ready for coffee yet, but you are ready to start a lifelong addiction to this coffee store.
Passion Tea Lemonade.
It’s summer and you couldn’t be happier about it. As you were strutting around with your Lilly Pulitzer tote it dawned on you that you day would not be complete without this perfect drink. You’ve never ordered this drink in any size other than venti, and you never will because it goes down so quickly. Anyways, why would you?
Peppermint Mocha.
You’ve been ready for Christmas since Valentine's Day. You can’t wait until the most wonderful time of the year comes, and you know this drink is offered year round, which is convenient because you order it year round. You were also probably one of the people causing drama on Facebook about the new red cups. It’s likely that you don’t believe in taking your Christmas lights down ever, half because you’re lazy, half because they’re magical.
Chai Latte.
You’re a classic. You never go out of style, just like this drink. You’re laid back and enjoy the simplicities in life. You probably do yoga regularly and have your own Lululemon mat for it. You have an amazing sense of fashion and are complemented on it frequently. You were probably also so into when Oprah came out with her chai latte at Starbucks because now you can get your favorite drink and help a good cause.
Straight Espresso.
You have an exam tomorrow that you haven’t studied for, yet. You also have a paper due in three hours, which is also not started. You’re actually really stressed about all this but it wouldn’t make sense to start on your work without coffee first. You have already accepted the fact that you’re not going to sleep tonight, and you just want to make sure your body got the memo as well.
Pumpkin Spice Latte.
You’re basic, so much so that you are used as an example when friends explain what that means to their mother. You have multiple pairs of Ugg boots, and probably have a Starbucks gold card that -- yes, you are quite proud of. You tweeted when the PSL came back, and also had at least one Snapchat story of you at Starbucks.
Decaf.
Why are you here? Not for the caffeine obviously.You are an enigma to us all, and very refreshing for the baristas. But at the same time, seriously, what are you doing here? Go home or put your grown up pants on and order some caffeine like the rest of us.
Mocha Frappuccino
You're not really into coffee but you're too old to order a vanilla bean frappuccino so you're trying to introduce yourself to coffee with this. Even if you are into coffee you aren't actually as you need to add the most amount of cream and sugar to it in order for it to be something you would ever be interested in.
Any drink from Espresso Royal or some other coffee place.
You, literally, just got the same drink Starbucks provides from somewhere else, likely because you believe that Starbucks is so mainstream and you want nothing more than to appear hipster to the world. Congratulations, you don't have a Starbucks cup, and instead have a still $5 cup of coffee from somewhere else and are basic in your own hipster-ish way.
Matcha Tea.
You’re willing to try any and all cleanses that come your way, and this was no different. Maybe you’re just too cheap to go for the green tea, maybe you don’t mind drinking chunks of ground up green tea, who knows? Either way, you went to Starbucks and probably spent the least amount of money possible, which is a win in itself.
The Frappula.
You’ve tried everything on the menu, so when Starbucks came out with this in October, you basically had a heart attack and bulldozed to your nearest Starbs to get your own. You probably also have had items from the secret menu, and even when you go through the drive thru the baristas can tell it’s you.
Black Coffee.
You are probably a psychopath. Like, studies actually show that you are more likely to be a psychopath if you enjoy bitter tasting things, such as black coffee. While the rest of us sugar and cream the crap out of our coffee you literally order just coffee (sometimes iced) and leave. Don’t you understand that’s not what Starbucks is about?
Skim iced caramel macchiato, extra ice, sugar free syrup, easy milk, easy syrup, with an extra shot of espresso.
After a long day of gossip and picking out your outfit, you and all of your sorority sisters decided to put on your yoga pants and head over to Starbucks for a well-deserved treat. You’re naturally watching your calories and also like to hear yourself talk so the more complicated the drink the better. You also plan on Instagramming this outing because you’re #blessed being surrounded by all your sisters.
