As I sit in the stu eating my vegan box lunch, I wish I was eating insomnia cookies for lunch instead. See I have a lot of calories coming my way today, I feel it. And I am also trying to work on yesterday's poor eating choices. Finals are coming, and sleep is not the only thing going out the window!
This year, I started studying three weeks ago, but I still feel the panic over me. As I was sitting in class, with my brain barely functioning I got an email from Insomnia cookies. When I opened it, I almost cried. Embrace yourself, the confetti cookie is here!!!!!
Shortly after, I had a brilliant idea, and with only 6 hours left to submit my article, I was onto something! I made a survey on Survey Monkey and sent the link to everyone I knew! Luckily, everyone responded quickly, and here I am making funny assumptions on what your favorite cookie flavor says about you!
(I made a survey hoping that it would give me insight on the personality types in correlation to cookies, but then I realized the survey did not give me the names of the participants so it was kind of useless)
VEGAN / DAIRY FREE
Whether it's for personal reasons or your genes don't allow you to have dairy, just stop it. Life is to short for this, so go you for suffering more than you have to!
CLASSIC CHOCOLATE CHIP
The most basic, but also the most liked! You are a classic, you will never fade out of style. Trends come and go, but you will stay because you are that basic. Let me guess, you are a pretty decent person, nothing too crazy, most people like this flavor, and even if you don't, you do. Everyone eats it, because why not? Keep reading to find out what it means to like the chocolate chip in comparison to the other cookies!
CLASSIC M&M
YOU TOO ARE BASIC! Where are you expecting something different? I'm sorry, but although you enjoy little pieces of M&M, you are still basic! The only difference is that this cookie is soft and hard. If you enjoy this cookie, it usually means you get angry quickly. My mom loves M&M and she is batshit crazy, so basically you too are batshit crazy, congrats!
DOUBLE CHOCOLATE CHUNK
The odds are you are a funny, crazy, funky, junky peep! The only people that would need a double dosage of chocolate are usually the most 'normal' looking on the outside, but super duper artsy fartsy individuals! Is your hair pink, green, or blue? Yes, no maybe? You should probably hop on that wagon if you are not on it already!
SNICKERDOODLE
I didn't even know snickerdoodle was a flavor until I moved to Chicago, and had a crush on this Greek guy. Seriously, what is snickerdoodle, it's just a mixture of a sugar cookie with cinnamon and more sugar. If you like this, and consider it one of your favorites then you are a trash human being that hooks up with your roommate while you are in the other room.
RED VELVET
YOU ARE SO EXTRA, Madonna is jealous. You get offended when someone says that red velvet is just 'dyed chocolate'. So if this is you're go to flavor, you are one complicated person!
OATMEAL RAISIN
HAHAHAHAH! This is an acquired taste, if you eat these cookies and somewhat enjoy them, you are probably a little on the psycho side. You are a little crazy, and not in a hot way. You are scary, Ingrid Goes West kind of scary! It doesn't matter how great of a baker you are, these cookies always look like baby throw up. SO you are basically baby throw up!
SUGAR COOKIES
You are like the Holly Golightly of the cookies. Very simple, but very complicated. It may seem plain, but the plain ones are the crazy ones. You have no sense of the concept of reality, you do what you want when you want and that is that. It may seem very selfish, and it is, but your charisma makes people forget about how shitty of a person you are <3.
CONFETTI
My best friend loves anything confetti, and she is one of the weirdest human beings, Jim Jam, this one is for you! If you like confetti, chances are you have no idea what you want in life. You are so confused, you probably confuse everyone around you, in a good way! You are a wild child, but like the actual borderline crazy and oh that's okay!
WHITE CHOCOLATE CHIP MACADAMIA
Do you like your cookies how you like your men/women? If so, then you have a twisted mind, congrats! If this is your favorite cookie that you have lying issues because you don't like the macadamia, you like the white chocolate, but the macadamia comes with it and you have no other option but to suck it up and deal with it. You are a pushover.
PEANUT BUTTER COOKIE
If you like peanut butter, the chances are you are low in iron or something. You tend to be more of a square, and do not usually have fun. If, in the rare case you are fun, it is probably because society has tricked you into thinking you are fun, but give it a couple of years, and you will find yourself in your true (boring) element!
CHOCOLATE MINT
Mint is good for digestion! But you know what? You are not easy to digest! If this is your top favorite, you have deep issues with bottling things up! You do not like to open up, and therefor have a lot of issues, because of it, maybe if you keep eating your denial chocolate mint cookie, things will get better, or maybe they won't, good luck!
I over analyze everything, so here I am over analyzing cookies, and what it has to do with your personality type. If I wasn't trying to make sense out of every little thing, and overthink everything then I wouldn't be me! If you don't like my cookie version of horoscopes, then you should probably stop eating the cookies you do and switch your cookie to match the personality you want to become!
