Hot dogs: a near and dear food to myself and this country. They are an easy and almost unfairly delicious meal that brings people together. There are so many different ways to eat this mysterious cylinder shaped meat that we all know and love, and I, the most devoted hot dog fan you'll ever meet, am here to tell you what your hot dog condiments say about you.
1. The naked dog
This means you don't use any condiments at all—GASP. Some may frown upon you and give you looks when you request your dog without even a little ketchup, but this shouldn't be judged. You're the realest. You're a great friend and love people for who they really are. You don't need makeup to feel pretty, and people like that about you. You're a rare breed that appreciates the original frankfurter and loves its natural taste. Shout out to you, naked dog eaters.
2. Simply ketchup
You're a simple kind of person. You don't take risks, and you go with the flow. You probably go to the same bar and wear the same clothes but hey, you know what you like and that's what's important.
3. Simply mustard
You're a weird breed but not in a bad way. You're too good for the just ketchup look, so you had to branch out.
4. The coney island
You're the life of the party. You're the type of person someone knows from last Saturday night but in the best way possible. When you eat this, you're probably at least five beers deep...and you're going back for seconds.
5. The noo yawk
Complete with spicy brown mustard and sauerkraut. You don't take no for an answer. You might've cut off eight people on your way to work but you don't care.
6. The chili cheese dog
You probably work from home because you don't want to wear a suit and enter the "cooperate life." Maybe you do your laundry, maybe you don't but hey, that's what moms are for.
7. The dog with the works
Nobody can really tell much about you except that you don't give a f*ck. You're either a drunk or awesome. Let the people decide which one.
8. You don't eat hot dogs
All I have to say is you're probably not American, or you're on one of your new "binge diets." I know Lisa said you'd drop five pounds in 30 minutes, but it's probably better for all of us if you just gave into this nation's horribly amazing food.
Hot dogs aren't just food—they're friends. So, whichever way you eat them, love them, appreciate them and celebrate them.
