When I was younger I always thought people my age looked so much older and that if you weren’t married and having kids by 25 there was something wrong. Now that I’m 20 years old, I realize that’s only five short years from now. And that while I could find the person I want to spend the rest of my life within that amount of time, my mind isn’t busy considering it. However, I can’t help but notice that some people have a different mindset. While most of my friends are single like me, others are in relationships and are contemplating their future plans as a couple and to be honest, that scares me.
I’m not trying to bash relationships, in fact I respect those people who are really in love and have found the one that makes them a better person each day. As a 20-year-old living in 2016, I’m curious as to why there’s a rush and why people feel as though a relationship is the thing that can make them feel whole when there are so many great things to embrace individually. Relationships can be fun, but sometimes the idea can have a bigger influence on us than the actual relationship itself.
Only get in a relationship if you're ready for it.
Sometimes it’s hard being the third wheel, but it’s even harder being in a relationship that you weren’t ready for in the first place. You’re not less of a person for not choosing to be with anyone, and it could benefit you in the long run by showing you that your personal value is so much more than just posting cute couple pictures on Instagram. You know your heart better than anyone else; don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
You shouldn't feel pressured.
You should never pressure yourself into any kind of situation you have any doubts about. Before getting into a serious relationship, make sure he/she isn’t trying to get you to do something you’re not comfortable with. Relationships are made up of two people and one person should never feel inferior to the other. If you have concerns about being in a relationship with a certain someone, make sure you don’t rush into anything serious and talk it out.
Taking time to find out who you are is not a bad thing.
One of the biggest and best things about being in college is being able to find out who you really are as a person and who is good for you and who is not. This is your life and if you don’t know your life, you can’t expect someone else to understand it either. Make friends that will encourage you to not settle, but instead go after what you truly want. Time to yourself is so valuable, and you won’t always have it, so it’s important to treasure it now.
Relationships are hardly ever fairy tales.
During my freshman year of college, I started to like this guy who lived a few doors down from me and I thought the whole thing was perfect for about a month, until I noticed he didn’t really like me for the right reasons. He ended up cutting it off, but I realized that I was totally fixated by the whole idea of this perfect relationship, that wasn’t really ever perfect at all. Relationships are hot messes and it’s very unlikely that you’ll end up with the ending of “The Notebook.” But don’t worry; if you’re ready, it’ll be worth it.
Figure out what makes you happy and go with it
Once you stop caring about what others think about you and your relationship status, you will be so much happier with your life. Your relationship is your business and if being with someone is what makes you happy: Do it. If you’re not ready, there’s so much more to life and you shouldn’t feel rushed. Figuring out what and who makes you smile will make your life so much more enjoyable and will prepare you for an awesome future. It’s your life, your relationship and your happiness.
