What You Say During An Interview v. What You're Really Thinking

What You Say During An Interview v. What You're Really Thinking

You know you've been there.

What You Say During An Interview v. What You're Really Thinking

This isn't a completely random article; I've been on a few interviews recently (that and I literally had nothing else to write about this week that wasn't pessimistic, so final product!). Internships, board position—it's been a fun time. Anyway, as someone who is nervous about almost everything, I'm surprisingly never worried about an interview. My very first interview I tried to prepare answers and, after none of the questions I prepared for got asked, I decided from that point forward to wing it. That isn't always the best thing, however, considering most interviews ask the same exact questions:

Interviewer: "So, tell me about yourself!
"What You Say: *Recites carefully constructed and previously rehearsed biography that manages to reflect every qualification in the job posting.*
What You're Thinking: "My favorite color is blue, I can sing the alphabet backwards, and my pet probably has a higher IQ than me. Can you hire me now?"

Interviewer: "How are your customer service skills?"
What You Say: "I'm careful to observe the customer's needs and deliver with the utmost degree of pleasantness and politeness."
What You're Thinking: "If you let your eyes glaze over and pretend you don't hear them, they think you're in a coma and won't bother you."

Interviewer: "So how would you rate your computer proficiency?"
What You Say: "Set me down at a keyboard and I can do anything."
What You're Thinking: "I'll YouTube it later."

Interviewer: "What would you do if-"
What You Say: *listens intently with a calm demeanor*
What You're Thinking: *panicking* "How has my education up to this point prepared me for this?"

Interviewer: "How do you deal with stressful situations?"
What You Say: "Well, first I figure out-"
What You Think: "Cry. I cry, like, a lot."

Interviewer: "How are your time management skills?"
What You Say: "At this point, they're perfected. I've come to realize that if you use your hours wisely, you can accomplish anything."
What You're Thinking: "I've come to realize that I'm really good at procrastinating and not sleeping the night before the deadline."

Interviewer: "What would you say is your biggest weakness?"
What You Say: "I'm an ardent perfectionist and I easily get caught up in the details."
What You're Thinking: "Chocolate. Carbs. My crippling self-esteem. What kind of a question even is that?"

Interviewer: "Do you have any questions for me?"
What You Say: "No, not right now!"
What You're Thinking: "Why do I always forget this part and never have anything to say?"

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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