Someone who's a longtime casualty to the grip of anxiety has undoubtedly perfected the art of a fake smile. It's facile yet naive to assume that someone isn't fighting an inner battle when, on the outside, it appears that they have it all together. It's easy to presume. The real challenge lies in attempting to understand that all of us need some sort of armor to battle whatever demons we're facing.
As someone who lives with anxiety everyday, the thought of attempting to explain what living with it feels like someone who doesn't understand or even believe in anxiety is simply exhausting. In fact, everything is exhausting. Human interaction. Talking on the phone. Simple daily tasks. Making any decision. Finding balance. Getting things done. It's all terrifyingly overwhelming and frankly a nap sounds so much easier.
It's hard to understand the concept of anxiety or any mental illness as being a real detriment to one's health when: a.) you can't see the pain that's occurring in someone's head and b.) anxiety is a feeling that everyone experiences from time to time, but in a very dissimilar way.
There is quite a significant difference between feeling stressed, nervous, or worried about something in your life versus dealing with the daily burden of generalized anxiety. Where experiencing stress and nerves is temporarily arduous and is usually about one or two things at a time, dealing with generalized anxiety is constant and the people experiencing it are typically feeling dozens of emotions at once and continually overthinking everything.
"People don't like to talk about the tough stuff.
Hell, I don't like to talk about the tough stuff."
- Meghan Rienks
Sometimes a person with generalized anxiety may be vocal and attempt to express what's going on inside their head. Sometimes talking to someone who experiences the same kind of thoughts makes vocalizing these struggles a bit easier, because trying to explain what your anxiety is like to someone who doesn't understand it is not unlike attempting to explain how Facebook works to an unwilling elder person.
People living with generalized anxiety always seem to be apologizing because they're constantly worried about something. They're sensitive to others words and actions because most of the time, they're worried that they're disliked anyways. They may always feel like a burden–they might need an enthusiastic invitation to go somewhere and even then, they may feel too uncomfortable to go. They can be completely fine one moment and then a flip may suddenly switch and their eyes may glaze and suddenly the world is hazy and nothing is okay.
They may appear lazy to others, but in reality they're just constantly overwhelmed. They may need more mental health days than those not dealing with this mental illness, but they may also need more distractions from their own thoughts at other times. Most of the time when anxiety takes over, the victim knows that they're being irrational but can't put a stop to their thoughts. It may feel as thought they're being haunted by a buzzing voice, constantly chirping and interrupting their own thoughts.
It's easy to tell someone not to let their mental illness stop them from doing the things that they may enjoy doing if they didn't feel held back by their own mind. It's easy to tell them that their thoughts aren't real or that they're overreacting, but it's important to try to be understanding instead. If someone with anxiety is not verbalizing their anxious thoughts, but there seems to be something wrong, they're likely still drowning in silence. They may be set off by the slightest things, so be aware of how they're acting. Learn what they need when they're anxious, because everyone's different. Whether it's giving them space or loving them louder, distracting them or asking if they want to talk things through. Please be patient with those who have anxiety.
