Maybe this past Valentine’s Day you went to a strip club to bask in your single status or to fill the void of lonesomeness inside you. Perhaps you’ve gone for a bachelor party or birthday, too. Going to a gentlemen’s club is one of those things you simply must experience at least once in your lifetime, regardless of your gender. To make the experience as enjoyable as possible, here are a few thoughts to keep in mind before you go.
Select just one credit card to use.
As with going out anywhere, having too many things to carry, keep track of, and be responsible for is never a smart idea. Even if you remain sober, things will wander away or into the hands of a stranger when the lights are dim and the music is loud.
Exchange your larger bills for singles beforehand.
Some places will do the service for free, but some places know they can make a little extra money off of a convenience fee. Let the strippers get what you spend!
Do not mix your larger bills with your singles.
Sometimes you want a 20 dollar bill, just in case, or maybe you’re not ready to turn all your bills into singles. Whatever the case, just remember to separate them. In the dark with eyes diverted to the dancers, whether you’re tipsy or not, you may not see the little details on the paper you’re giving away. If you’re a baller, and you want to give 20s, 50s, even 100s, separating them is still a good idea so you can give the bigger ones to your favorites.
Pregame a little (if you’re not driving).
These establishments are always looking for ways to reap in the money, so naturally their drink prices will be inflated. Sometimes you can’t even find where they display the prices, so you won’t realize how much you’re paying until you close your tab! You can save a little money on drinks then use that money for a lap dance instead.
Don’t look like trash!
No matter how dirty the place is, no matter how disgusting the other clientele might be, there should be a level of respect toward an establishment in which you’re allowed to witness the unveiling of the priceless female form.
Strippers are humans, too.
Strip clubs and their strippers tend to elicit a negatively naughty connotation. Stereotypically, strippers are viewed as dirty, lascivious, mischievous drug addicts who couldn’t aspire to anything else in their lives. It may be useful to drive that stereotype from your mind before heading out and proceed without any prior judgments. These ladies are homo sapiens who are also working mothers, daughters, sisters, and/or friends of actual people. You don’t know what situation urged them to work here until you have a real conversation with them.
So congratulations! You’ve successfully prepared for a gentlemen’s club outing! Now prepare to learn.
It is possible to walk in 10-inch heels, let alone dance in them.
We don’t give these girls enough credit. They’re willing to expose their bodies and risk falling off the stage, twisting an ankle, and breaking a bone—all this for a couple dollars from each grimy hand that grazes their bodies. Walking gracefully in average height heels already takes years of practice; now do it seductively with triple the height!
There are a variety of body shapes and sizes.
All of which are attractive to at least someone in the crowd. You’d be surprised! It goes to show that there truly is no exclusive definition of sexy or attractive because everyone has the potential to look good to someone.
The hot bartender doesn’t want your number.
You think you can nimbly slide into her contacts (I sure would have loved to), but remember you’re definitely not the first client who’s tried with her. She’s here to be the pretty face and make tips, but your attention is better suited on the dancers.
Even if you don’t plan on spending much, you will.
Whether it’s because you mixed your cash, lost track of your tab, had too many lap dances, or all of the above. I had to learn the hard way: By not separating my singles and 20s, four lucky ladies received 20 dollar tips.
You may not plan on getting a lap dance, but oh—you’ll get one!
And you’ll enjoy it! Just don’t ask for a dancer too early in the night; you haven’t seen all of the dancers yet!
Strippers are humans, too.
You’ll already know this by the time you enter the establishment, but you’ll realize it yet again. What you see every time a lady surmounts the stage is not a fictitious spectacle that plays in your mind. Optical physicists would use the term “real image” to convey that these ladies are indeed human beings who have the courage to bless us with their bodies and tolerate grimy, lustful hands grazing their skin.
Seeing past the artificiality of each performance, you'll appreciate the art of seduction from each individual dancer, whether in the form of climbing the pole confidently, engaging each client in easygoing conversation, or strutting in stilettos with a stunning smile. Each personality shines, unfeigned through the required, simplistic sexual facade that initially lures us in. What keeps us coming back, however, is the enigmatic charm that these ladies have so flawlessly mastered.
