I was aimlessly scrolling through Facebook the other day and two things occurred to me: I follow more news sources than actual people, and these news sources are seriously missing the point.
When I say missing the point, I mean they are obsessively reporting about men-centric opinions of female behavior, anatomy, and words. I find myself clicking on and then reading insanely biased articles, and my reaction looks just like this:
So, here are ten common article titles with gender swaps.
1. What Women Don't Want to Hear on a First Date
An article featuring women's opinions on men who try to bring up topics like marriage, children... basically anything alluding to a possible future and/or your goals in life.
2. How to Date a Woman Who is Way Out of Your League
Unsurprisingly, this particular title came out of a Cosmo mag. This version offers helpful hints on how "normal" men can try and impress females who are "above" them in terms of career, annual salary, and social status.
3. How to Dye Your Buzz Cut To Look Younger
A list of ways that older men can touch up their cropped hair to look effortlessly younger and more handsome. You know, to attract the ladies. Nobody likes a man with gray hair, right?
4. How to Contour Your Facial Hair to Get a Great Jawline
Forget bronzer, this is an informative piece on how men can shave their faces to ensure that their beards compliment their face shapes. Square jaws, long jaws, all jaws can be labeled and improved!
5. Ten Things She Thinks When She Sees You Naked For the First Time
One of the most dominant titles in all sex and relationships sections, this article is a number of candid thoughts that run through women's minds when they see their partners nude body for the first time. Obviously, their opinions are listed next to provocative photos of barely dressed men in impeccable shape.
6. 15 Dress Shoe Problems Every Man Knows Too Well
This one is all about painful dress shoes. Square toes, wide sizes, and thick heels all come with their own issues.
7. What To Do When She Doesn't Call
Men seem to really struggle with rejection, so this is a great piece on what to do when she doesn't call you back after a first date.
8. The Top Five Hair Gels For Your Everyday Look
From a long day at work to a night out with the boys, this is a list of the best hair products for men.
9. Three Things to Say When You Want Your Friend with Benefits to be Your Girlfriend
A thoughtful article about hooking up with women and how to convince them to commit to you—without sounding needy or scaring them off.
10. What Women Really Think About Body Hair
Bring the wax kits! Sharpen your razor! The shiny prepubescent look isn't just appealing to men; the ladies want to see some effort, guys! Shaved chests and nether regions are about to have their moment in the spotlight.
