Never feel ashamed of your feelings. Crying and being upset are natural responses to abandonment, but you have to push past them. You are not going to be a huge priority in your father’s life, and that is okay. One day, you will realize that there is a reason for that. You will gain a father figure in your life that will never hurt you and make you wonder why he couldn’t have been your father. Only problem, he’s even better. He’s your grandfather.

Although he is not a chatty person, he is always willing to listen to you and give you the best advice he can. And as surprised as you will be, he will never judge you based on your mistakes (there will be a lot of mistakes). This is the man that will stand up for you without creating even more conflict for you to deal with. This is the man who will teach you what to look for in a significant other. He is not going to pop in and out of your life at random times, in fact he will never pop out of your life for you to have to worry when the return is going to be.

You need to spend more time being grateful to have someone like him in your life than you do worrying why your father won’t make an effort to be there instead. Appreciate the random advice and facts about fixing your house and your car that he likes to tell you, one day he won’t be there for you to ask for his help anymore. When he is gone, you are going to wish you could still call him and listen to his stories and advice. You are going to realize that he was the best father you could’ve ever had, even if he wasn’t your birth father. Don’t take advantage of that because when you father abandoned you; that was just leading to the opportunity to have an even better father-figure in your life. Stop hanging up on the negative because the world has given you so much more to be grateful for than you could ever realize.

Now stop looking at the obligatory monthly “How are you?” text from your father, delete it, and thank your grandfather for being the best stand-in dad you could’ve ever dreamed of.