There’s a lot of things that I wish I had known growing up. How to part my hair to suit my face, how to choose which flavor of ice cream to choose at the local ice cream place (shoutout to Cow Cafe), how to choose the best style to suit my body type, or even how to behave around a crush. However, none of these things are as important as the five real things I learned growing up that are applicable to the more important things in life.

1. Money can buy happiness but not joy

You may have heard the phrase “money can’t buy happiness.” Well I believe it’s wrong. Money can buy happiness. However, happiness isn’t lasting. It’s only temporary. What I really want, and what I believe everyone else wants as well, is not happiness, but instead joy. Happiness is a fleeting emotion that is relatively common and caused only by other things around you whereas joy is much longer lasting and less common, it’s actually an attitude of your heart.

2. Not everyone can or will be your best friend

Growing up I always tried to open up to everyone. I tried to let everyone be my best friend. But then I couldn’t keep up. I couldn’t care about everyone the same amount or same way. And not everyone cared about me the same amount or same way either. Some actually hurt me pretty deeply because I had opened myself up like that so quickly and so readily. I had to start choosing who I wanted to be closer to and who I wanted as my real friends.

3. It’s not all about you

We don’t live in the 1400s, we all have the solid science that the earth doesn’t revolve around us. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t be a VIP anyway, right? Wrong. Put others before yourself. And trust me, it’s a lot better that way. Putting yourself first is not only selfish and self centered, but it’s also rude and thoughtless of others around you.

4. It’s okay to disagree

One of the beauties of the human race is that we have a brain where we can think for ourselves. We don’t all love the same foods. We don’t all enjoy the same television shows. And while not all the issues you disagree on will be as minor and insignificant as that, even the big issues (like who should be president) are okay to disagree on. You have your reasons for believing what you do and they have theirs.

5. Family is important

Growing up I always said I wanted to grow up, graduate college, and never see or speak to my family again. However, now that I’m at college I see why family is to be valued. I may still get frustrated to no end by them, but they’re your people. They’re who God decided you needed the most in your life.