Dear past, present, and future me,

I deserve to love you. I always have and I admit it: I still am and will always be learning how to love you, to know you, to understand you, and to accept you completely as you are. I’m learning to love your flaws, not just little “quirks,” but also all of the full-on, “I have seriously hurt someone I love with this character trait" flaws, as well as your good traits. Yes, you have them.

There are others who love you, but, even if everyone else ceases to do so one day, I pledge to love you anyway. There will be days when you feel alone, but I want you to know that you are completed by your own love and not by any other human's love for you.

I want to be fully present in every part of your life. I want to support you and love you through the beautiful moments and all of the messy ones in between. There's only one person who will do all of the unromantic things that happen behind the scenes of your highlighted Instagram life. I’m going to be the one who gets you out of bed when you’re not ready for your 8:00 a.m. or for life in general, the one who changes your tear-soaked pillows, the one who tucks you into bed, and the one who reminds you that everything will eventually be OK when no one else is there to tell you that. I want to be the one who takes you out on a date when you realize that no one can be there for you as much as you want them to be.

I’m going to remind you that societal standards are not your standards and tell you without shame that you are beautiful, even when you feel awful after treating yourself to your favorite mint chocolate chip ice cream. I won’t consider taking care of you to be a waste of my time. In fact, I’ll make it a priority starting now.

When you’re upset that you can’t find the love that you want from someone who you care about, I’ll be the one who’s still here and loving you, even when you think that that’s not enough for you. When the world demands a thousand things from you that you’re not, I will write notes to you over and over again to remind you that you are enough as you are. When you’ve messed up, I’ll forgive you. I’ll wade through the guilt with you and then help you take responsibility for whatever you’ve done. It won’t make me hate you.

When someone hurts you, I will help you come to terms with it. I will love you enough to make sure that you get yourself out of it. I love you too much to let someone else become anyone who you depend on for love or anything else that you can be broken by so easily.

We’re not going through this alone. I want to share this love and be the one who is reaching out to your friends for you when you’re tempted to isolate yourself. I’m not going to let you push everyone away. Yes, if you lie to them and sugarcoat things, I’ll gently remind you that this isn’t what anyone wants for you, not even yourself. I won’t tell you what you want to hear all the time, but I’ll keep telling you everything that you need to hear.

So, get ready. This is the beginning of a long journey. We’ll have our ups and downs and sometimes I’ll hurt you and forget how to love you, but I’m making this promise to you anyway. I admit that I don’t know how to take care of you all of the time. Sometimes, I’ll have to ask for help. Sometimes, it'll feel like there's nothing left to work for, but I promise that you deserve the same love that you give to other people. I love you because you deserve to love yourself.

Love,

Me.