In what seems to be a blink of the eye, five years has gone by. This time five years ago, I was on my last Thanksgiving break of my high school years. I was so ready to graduate and get out of there, just like everyone else. I was working, I was always busy with dance, and I thought those last few months would go on for a lifetime. Little did I know some of the most challenging moments of my life were looking right at me from the near future. I lost loved ones, I lost friends, I lost myself, and I lost track of time. And now as I'm looking at my college graduation date on my calendar, I can't help but look back and remember everything that I thought I'd be and be doing. It's cathartic, if anything. I'm about to start a brand new and exciting chapter in my life, and I just wish I could tell my high school self these few yet very important things.
Enjoy your friends. You are so busy all the time with everything you're trying to do. Take time and put more effort into your friendships because you won't always have these people in your life. But what you will have are some very wonderful memories to look back on and smile about. Push yourself a little bit out of your comfort zone. Don't do anything stupid or reckless, just spend more time with these people because you might not ever live near any of them ever again after you graduate.
Listen to your parents. You don't always agree with what they always say, but in a couple short years, they will be your best friends. That's hard to understand right now, but they're the most amazing people you have ever known. You may not want to tell your mom anything right now, but trust me, when you move away from home you will talk to her every single day and ask her for advice on anything and everything. Listen to your dad when he gives you advice, and don't be scared that you'll disappoint him. Because he loves you and he just wants you to be happy.
Spend more time with your family. Life is unpredictable and nothing is constant. As much as they drive you crazy sometimes, make an effort to be with them more. Enjoy those Thanksgivings and spend as much time with your grandma as possible at graduation. Get to know everyone better. Tell everyone you love them. And then say it again.
Take some time to yourself. Don't run yourself ragged at dance every day. Start doing some other things you've always wanted to try, like pottery or art classes or singing. Trust me, you don't have time for any of this later. There's no time like now, and no time in your life will ever be the same. Focus your energy in different places, and spread your love of knowledge around to different areas in life.
Don't rush love. Your first love will not be your last—no matter how much you want that in the moment. Do not let any boy take your heart for granted, because you deserve so much more. Do not think that you have to settle, because you don't. Do not let another person determine your own self-worth. What you go through isn't easy emotionally but it will help you in the long run. You experience many different types of love and different types of heartbreak. Guard your heart but don't stop being kind. Trust me when I tell you that you will find a man who loves you with all his heart and he's different from any boy you've ever met.
Love yourself. You're struggling and whether anybody actually notices doesn't matter. Don't put on a show—leave that for performing. Talk to someone. Don't let your anxiety and depression bottle up inside you. The bubble pops one day and it's not pretty. But you know what? You get through it. Open up because people do care. You're scared to let anyone know but it's OK. Don't think that the weight of the world rests on your shoulders. Don't let anyone tell you that you aren't beautiful, and don't think that you're fat or ugly or not good enough. You're actually pretty intelligent and a good person. You're going to look back and wish you thought more highly of yourself.
Soon, I'm graduating from Ole Miss and moving even farther away from home. There're a lot of things I wish I could change about my past, but everything happened exactly as it did for a reason. I wouldn't be the person I am today without all the things I've been through and without all the people I've known. I can only reflect and recognize that as cliché as it is, life is short. There's a lot to do and barely any time to do it. Moving onto this next chapter in my life, I'm not going to hold back my dreams. I hope you don't either. There's only one chance to do everything you've wanted to do. Love yourself and your life and go forward with an open heart.
