I am sick and tired of the way society views and talks about women, rape culture and catcalling. I am sick of having to explain why we need to change, but here I am, explaining once again. Only this time, I am trying to reach more people and break more boundaries.

Sadly, after a girl is raped, we all know the typical questions that are asked: was she drunk? What was she wearing? What time did the rape occur? We know that those questions probably have to be answered in the court of law in order to charge the rapist with the crime, but why else is it necessary to ask those questions? Also, why do we say "the man" when talking about the reported sexual assault? Why are they not called "the rapist?"

I am a lifeguard at our local pool. Naturally in the summertime, because it’s hot outside, I go into work wearing Soffe shorts and my lifeguard tank top, aka my work uniform. There have been an abundance of times when I have gotten whistled at, honked at or yelled to by men driving by or sitting on the steps to the building that I can’t even count anymore. It makes me feel uncomfortable. Men think that catcalling is a form of flattery, but newsflash: it isn’t. I was telling a good friend about how recently a group of guys sitting in the front of the building whistled at me as I walked out of the building. He said that he wished he could have walked me to my car, to which I said that probably would not have helped anyway. He then proceeded to ask me: "Well, what were you wearing?"

"Well, what were you wearing?"

I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt because it was hot outside. Are my shorts short? Yes, they are, because that’s how they are made; you know, that’s why they named them “shorts.” Should I be forced to wear long pants and die of heat stroke in 80 degree weather because some men are incapable of being respectful? No, I shouldn’t. Should women be raped because what they are wearing might be deemed “provocative?” No, they shouldn’t.

I know of schools, private and public at both the high school and college levels, which have strict dress codes for students to follow. Coming from a Catholic school, I understand why a lot of these dress codes are in effect (I have seen way too many butt cheeks of girls who wore their skirts too high). I understand that, at the high school level, students should be dressing appropriately for their age and principals and faculty don’t want to see butt cheeks and cleavage at their school; I understand that. However, I have seen cases where girls wore a tank top to school, that completely covered their chest area, and were forced to change because the shirt didn’t have sleeves and it was “too distracting.”

"Too distracting."

I am tired of women being told that what they’re wearing is distracting the boys. I am tired of hearing the phrase “boys will be boys.” I am tired of catcalling, sexual assault and rape being blamed on the woman. I am tired of hearing made up excuses for "the man's" horrific actions towards the woman. I am tired of hearing that “the drunken state of the girl is what provoked the rape,” “her clothes were too revealing,” “it was late at night.” No, the rapist provoked the rape; her sobriety, her outfit or the time of day should not matter. She is a woman. I am a woman. We are human beings that deserve to be treated with respect.

I don’t care if I’m wearing shorts and a tank top or sweat pants and a hoodie and you shouldn’t either. Rape is rape. Now stop making excuses.