Let's all admit the day you wake up after October 31st, you immediately flipped the switch from Pumpkin spiced coffee, binge eating candy, and the apple picking pictures to playing Mariah Carey's "All I Want For Christmas Is You" and consistently watching Hallmark Christmas movies. I don't know about you, but most people know I am a holiday fanatic and wish it could be Christmas every day. But let's be real here is how a typical holiday season goes.
As Thanksgiving is approaching you plan the week water detox so you are able survive the Thanksgiving Eve bar crawl and inhale 5000 calories of mash potatoes and stuffing. After the binge eating and drinking, you drink a whole bottle of NyQuil because waking up on black Friday to purchase those pair of Michael Kors riding boots is going to be a kick in the face. While you are on your way to purchase those boots you pick up a copy of Mariah Carey's Christmas Album from 1995 to listen to only one song that is constantly played on the radio anyway but you couldn't care less and you end up buying the movie Elf because well lets get real who doesn't like Elf besides well, the Grinch (which is also a great movie).
As December 1st approaches, you've already watched Elf 25 times, listened to All I want for Christmas is you 100+, ate 50 Christmas cookies, and finished off the Thanksgiving leftovers. You remembered you bought those extra set of lights for the Christmas tree because naturally you always find your parents struggling to untangle the broken Christmas lights that bust every year. Once you finish decorating the tree you realize you don't have an angel then you remember the angel has been broken for five years, but hey you roll with the no angel tree anyway.
As the week before Christmas approaches you have still yet to buy Christmas presents for your mom, dad, sister, brother, aunts, uncles, your dog, your best friends, your 50+ sorority sisters, your friends dogs, your neighbors, that girl you met in the bathroom one drunk night and well most importantly your boyfriend (you get the picture you are screwed). You hit holiday traffic in a snow storm trying to get to the mall and you are having terrible road rage and swearing to yourself that you've should of done this in June or even on Black Friday when you just kept shopping for yourself. You come out of the mall with 10+ Gift cards because, well, you just couldn't deal with the destroyed department stores, the miserable workers, and well the terrible customers that are flipping out for not getting their 50% off of on some stupid gadget.
Before you know it, Christmas Eve is here. You are attempting to wrap a few gifts, trying to find that cute outfit to take unwanted family photos, but you are still going to post them on Instagram because well who doesn't love a perfect family picture that's going to get 100+ likes with one of these captions saying "love my fam" "Merry Christmas" "So blessed" "Love my mom" (Mind you, you were probably fighting before to take the stupid picture, but you look good anyway so you post it). You are on your way to your grandparents' house and of course Mariah Carey comes on, but since your dad is driving he wants to listen to The Little Drummer Boy so its the longest 15 minutes of your life. It's time to open gifts with your cousins and well you only get one gift now because you aren't the baby anymore, so instead you drink about 5 glasses of champagne and watch your five toddler cousins open 20 presents. You're jealous because you aren't the spoiled cousin anymore, but hey you were introduced to alcohol so it evens out.
Christmas Day rolls around and you are so excited. You wake up the earliest you ever had on the most best day of the year. While getting up you realize, I never made a Christmas list so what am I even getting from Santa? Am I even going to have any gifts? However, you walk downstairs and of course your parents never disappoint and come in clutch with the best Christmas gifts you never even thought about asking for. But still, your dog comes in with the win and has received the most Christmas gifts because your dog runs the show and dogs are cute. While waiting for your family to arrive to inhale 5000 more calories you try on all your new clothes and take 15 selfies and post your Snap Chat filter selfie on Instagram. While your cousins arrive you just have to show each and every one of them your awesome gifts because in their eyes they live vicariously through you (duh). Then the cousin who loves to play power hour walks into the house and you realize you know how your night is going to end up; binge eating lasagna, Christmas cookies, watching Elf, and taking a nice siesta with your cute dog in his Christmas snuggie.
You wake up the next day, depressed, There's no more Christmas music, you're sick of Christmas cookies, and sadly to say sick of Elf and ABC's 25 days of Christmas and contemplating what you do next.
Then it hits you, New Years Eve, meaning you have 4 days to plan where you're going to go, who you're going to hang out with, what you're going to wear, and most importantly what you are going to drink. All in all end up having a mental breakdown and saying "screw it" and end up laying on your couch on New Years Eve with your dog and the left over Christmas food.
How else would you normally spend your holiday season?
