It's three o'clock in the morning. You can't sleep. Your brain is racing at 1000 miles per minute. The tears are flowing like you're watching a Grey’s Anatomy marathon. The exact moment where it all went wrong is imprinted into your mind outlined by a huge marquee. They were your best friend. Your better half. Your soulmate. You talked about travelling the world, getting married, growing old together. But now they’re gone. One mistake ruined it all. Your mistake. No matter how much you linger with the thought of taking it all back, it’s too late. What do you do when you lose the love of your life and it’s your fault?
Yes. It sucks. It hurts. BAD. And yes, your feelings of sadness are still valid even though your actions ultimately caused the end of the relationship. It was one mistake, everybody makes them, but you have to own up to it and accept what you did and how it negatively affected the relationship. You have to take accountability that you hurt the person closest to you. It will not only help the other person heal, but it will also help you move on and to forgive yourself.
Making it Right
You’ve apologized, begged and cried a million times, but that won’t fix their pain. What will alleviate the other person’s heartache is something quite simple: time. Time fixes everything. It will heal the other person while also enabling you to come to accept what you have done. Give that person enough time and don’t try to put yourself first. They deserve to heal without being pressured into speeding up the process. And who knows? Maybe one day they will forgive you and want to give you another chance; just give it time.
BRING ON THE ICE CREAM, NETFLIX AND PJS. Right? Wrong. You will be sad. You will want to sit around and mope all day about what you’ve lost. You’ll never want to leave your house and slowly succumb into spinsterhood and get eaten by the neighborhood dogs. (Bridget Jones’s Diary anyone?) This is not the healthy way to cope. You’ve already taken accountability for the damage you have done, you’ve apologized and tried to make it right, but sometimes it is just too late. We all know the annoying “It gets better” crap, but really, it does. Get up. Go clean yourself up. Workout. (Endorphins= J) Be productive. Listen to music. Time will go on, you’ll meet new people and have new experiences and the heartache will eventually deteriorate. The most important part about all of this is that it was a learning experience. You screwed up, owned up to it, made it as right as you possibly could, and vowed to never do it again.