What To Do When You Lose The Love Of Your Life (And It's Your Fault)

What To Do When You Lose The Love Of Your Life (And It's Your Fault)

A Guide for Everyday People Who Makes Mistakes
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It's three o'clock in the morning. You can't sleep. Your brain is racing at 1000 miles per minute. The tears are flowing like you're watching a Grey’s Anatomy marathon. The exact moment where it all went wrong is imprinted into your mind outlined by a huge marquee. They were your best friend. Your better half. Your soulmate. You talked about travelling the world, getting married, growing old together. But now they’re gone. One mistake ruined it all. Your mistake. No matter how much you linger with the thought of taking it all back, it’s too late. What do you do when you lose the love of your life and it’s your fault?

Accountability

Yes. It sucks. It hurts. BAD. And yes, your feelings of sadness are still valid even though your actions ultimately caused the end of the relationship. It was one mistake, everybody makes them, but you have to own up to it and accept what you did and how it negatively affected the relationship. You have to take accountability that you hurt the person closest to you. It will not only help the other person heal, but it will also help you move on and to forgive yourself.

Making it Right

You’ve apologized, begged and cried a million times, but that won’t fix their pain. What will alleviate the other person’s heartache is something quite simple: time. Time fixes everything. It will heal the other person while also enabling you to come to accept what you have done. Give that person enough time and don’t try to put yourself first. They deserve to heal without being pressured into speeding up the process. And who knows? Maybe one day they will forgive you and want to give you another chance; just give it time.

Moving On

BRING ON THE ICE CREAM, NETFLIX AND PJS. Right? Wrong. You will be sad. You will want to sit around and mope all day about what you’ve lost. You’ll never want to leave your house and slowly succumb into spinsterhood and get eaten by the neighborhood dogs. (Bridget Jones’s Diary anyone?) This is not the healthy way to cope. You’ve already taken accountability for the damage you have done, you’ve apologized and tried to make it right, but sometimes it is just too late. We all know the annoying “It gets better” crap, but really, it does. Get up. Go clean yourself up. Workout. (Endorphins= J) Be productive. Listen to music. Time will go on, you’ll meet new people and have new experiences and the heartache will eventually deteriorate. The most important part about all of this is that it was a learning experience. You screwed up, owned up to it, made it as right as you possibly could, and vowed to never do it again.

Cover Image Credit: Widescreen Wallpapers

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To Everyone Who Hasn't Had Sex Yet, Wait For Marriage, It's The Right Move

If you have not had sex yet, wait.

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Premarital sex is not a new concept, no matter how much people like to pretend it is. You can trace scripture and historical texts back thousands of year to see that lust and fornication have been a problem since… well, since we humans have been problems.

They tell you in sex ed that sex causes you to form a bond with someone. They throw some big chemical names at you that are apparently in your body and cause that emotional attachment to happen, then you move on (or back to) how important condoms are and why STDs are so scary.

As a middle schooler or teenager, you can't understand what it means to become permanently connected to someone as a result of a quick, physical act.

If you haven't even had your first kiss, you really can't imagine what it's like to develop such a complex and intimate connection with someone because you have yet to feel the butterflies in your stomach from a kiss. So you really don't know what it's like to have a whole different type of feeling in your stomach.

You never forget your first love. It's one of the most cliche things you consistently hear, but it's true. Ask anyone. I guarantee your parents can still spurt out their first love's name in a few seconds. And most people never forget their first time. I know all my friends can recount that often awkward and slightly terrifying moment as if it happened an hour ago. When you mix those two, especially if you are in your teens, oh boy.

You never forget that. No matter how hard you try.

Everything you hear about sex is true: it's amazing, fantastic, life-changing, etc. There's a reason people have done it as frequently as they do, for as long as they have. But every time you sleep with someone, you leave a piece of yourself with them. Every time you choose to take that final physical step with someone, you cannot go back and collect that piece of your dignity and soul that you left with someone.

So, imagine what happens when you break up with someone you've slept with. Or that you just hooked up with. You have given someone a little slice of yourself forever. And you can never get it back. And imagine what happens when you do that multiple times. You give a piece of yourself to five, 10, 15, 20 or more people. Then you meet the person that you want to spend forever with. And you no longer have that whole part of you. You've given pieces away, and you can no longer give those to the love of your life.

So, save those pieces for your future spouse.

If you have not had sex yet, wait. If you have, consider not giving more pieces of yourself away to people who are not your spouse. Sex was created to be between two spouses, nobody else. So we need to try to maintain its integrity.

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15 Winter Dates For Couples Who'd Rather Snuggle Indoors Than Step Foot Outside

Do I wanna build a snowman? Uhhhh NO!

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Christmas time in New England can get pretty damn cold. I mean, we do have a few warm days, but for the most part, it's cold, windy, and sometimes snowy out. Now, if you're anything like me and you don't like the cold, typical Christmas dates might not be for you, but luckily there's plenty of cute dates that don't involve venturing out in the freezing abyss.

So get your hot chocolate, eggnog, ugly sweaters and festive pajamas ready because here are 15 fun winter dates that don't involve you and your partner leaving the house at all.

1. Ginger bread house competition

2. Classic Christmas movie marathon

3. Hallmark movie marathon

Only because my boyfriend's mom LOVES them.

4. Okay so really just any Christmas movie marathon.

SANTAAAAAA

5. Making Christmas ornaments

6. Paper snowflake making competition

7. Baking and decorating (and eating!) Christmas cookies

8. Dance around to Christmas music

9. Make each other a new stocking

10. Write a letter to Santa

Super silly but super cute.

11. Take cute Christmas pictures

Giphy

Perfect time for those ugly Christmas sweaters or Christmas pajamas.

12. Decorate the Christmas tree

And you know the rest of the inside of the house.

13. Wrap presents together

14. Hang a mistletoe and kiss under it

15. Stay up tracking Santa

Don't forget to leave milk and cookies out for him, and carrots out for the reindeer.

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