Everyone has that moment where they develop a crush on someone. You feel the butterflies in your stomach and if you try hard enough you can almost hear your brain yelling, “ABORT MISSION, ABORT MISSION! THIS IS A BAD IDEA!” It is such a beautiful process, isn’t it? Crushing on someone has a weird way of making you feel like you’re at the top of the world and the bottom of the ocean at the same time. The good news is there’s a chance it can go really well! The bad news is there’s a chance it can go really badly! Basically you’re doomed from the start. At that point, the question on everybody's mind is what should you do when you like someone?
1. Pet a dog
If what you’re looking for is love and affection then the most suitable partner for you is a furry little friend! Times are tough and not every dog is affordable but that’s totally okay - just walk outside and find one to pet! You won't even have to wonder if a dog likes you or not; you'll be showered with kisses before the thought can cross your mind! Dogs will always give back the love they get, and there won’t be any poor attempts at flirting like receiving the text “haha and then what ;)”.
2. Take up knitting
Why waste your emotional capacities on a real person when you can put your energy into knitting instead! You can knit yourself an entire blanket that will make you feel warmer than any other human could. Why stop there though? Keep going and knit yourself a boyfriend or girlfriend. They’ll never leave you and you can cuddle with them literally whenever you want to - you can’t lose!
3. Run
Running is way more productive than liking another person (especially if the person you’re into is on track, you’ll score some points there). It’s a great way to keep yourself healthy AND too busy to care for another person! Pull a Forrest Gump and just start running. Run to the park. Run to the store. Run to an ice cream parlor. Run away from your problems. You can do it and I believe in you.
4. Dig a hole
You never know what might happen if you follow your heart and pursue somebody, but you’re guaranteed satisfaction if you dig a really nice hole. Maybe you’ll find some buried treasure. Maybe you’ll find China. The possibilities are endless. If you dig deep enough you might be able to fit in it. Cupid can't find you if you're 6 feet under the ground!
5. Watch every TV show, ever
Just watch all of the shows. There's so many good things to watch, you might as well start now! You won't have the time to crush on somebody! Fall in love with a fictional character like Derek Shepherd instead of a real human being. If things get bad you can always go back and re-watch the episodes before there was conflict!
How ever effective these strategies are, results may vary. You might just end up falling for someone anyway; have fun with that!
