With Donald Trump increasingly rallying support (HOW???), the time has come for panic mode to descend upon the good and sane citizens of America who are anti-Trump. If you are an unfortunate Trump supporter I can only hope that with time Darwinism extinguishes you; and if you are like me, a rational human being with more than two brain cells, then we must prepare for the absolute worst:
What to do if "He Who Must Not Be Named" is elected.
1. Begin by cursing all the bigots who are delusion and support this xenophobic, racist, ugly on the inside and out individual.
2. Ask yourself how important (or stupid) one must be to have their death labeled an assassination.
3. Investigate this festive island where a nice smart man has invited people to live if Trump wins!
4. Consider fleeing the country and using your time abroad to get a degree and further society (which is what people who remain in America will not be doing).
Germany: Free renowned public universities (many classes taught in english)
AND OKTOBERFEST!!!
France: Where one out of every four doctoral degrees goes to a foreigner
You can also smoke here and people won't cough at you as you do it.
Norway: Guaranteed small class sizes and approachable professors
See the Northern Lights while you're at it!
5. Take the quiz The Telegraph made, entitled "Who said it: Trump or Hitler"
Go ahead, google it.
(It's actually a super hard quiz, I did rather poorly on it.)
6. Consider running for president yourself for the next campaign.
It'll be lit I swear.
7. Consider backing Kanye for his 2020 presidential campaign.
A. Because he already thinks he is and,
B. Because he can't be worse than Trump
8. Read this list of celebrities who have vowed to move if Trump wins and befriend them so they take you with them to their fancy foreign homes.
9. Hug as many people as you can that belong to groups of individuals that Trump has insulted, because Trump is wrong and an absolute wanker.
10. Read this list the NYT compiled of the many Twitter insults that Trump has made.
11. Examine this photo of Trump vs. Hitler.
12. Spray-paint the White House black to appropriately match the soul of the individual occupying it.
Remember, if you support Trump this message below is for you:
So, don't be a detriment to society. There are enough imbeciles out there. Be smart, find other smart people, and don't support Donald Trump so you do not need to do the things in this list.
Like my friends and I tell one another on the weekends before we go out, PLEASE make smart decisions!
"Making America Great Again", will really result in this.
And I promise you, no on wants this man as their president.
