How I Overcame My Depression
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Depression Is A Beast That Comes To Ruin The Life You Want, But I'm Living Proof That There IS Hope

Your rock bottom doesn't mean it's over.

310
Depression Is A Beast That Comes To Ruin The Life You Want, But I'm Living Proof That There IS Hope

Content warning: Article discusses suicide.

"You don't deserve to live anymore." Those fateful words came at the peak of my depression. On a warm June night my junior year of high school, that monster that plagued my mind finally beat me. It had ruined my relationship with my family, hurt the people that I loved, and most of all, destroyed my self-worth. I walked into the bathroom, took 30, 300mg pills of my back pain medication, hobbled into my room, and passed out. I was broken and I didn't care who I hurt in the process.

My depression finally won, and for me, I thought that was the end.

But it wasn't. The next morning I woke up with tears flooding my eyes in shock of what I had just tried to do, and yet I chose not to tell anyone. Instead, I moved on, pretending it had never happened. I started letting depression and anxiety run rampant in my life, spiraling me into a chaos of drugs, alcohol, women, or anything that could help me feel something. I was desperate, and I sought the pleasures of this world as an answer to my inner emptiness.

Of course, this didn't work and I attempted suicide two more times.

I was lucky that I had someone looking out for me. The last time I tried to end my life I remember writing a note telling everyone that I was so sorry and that they will be better without me. Then, I looked up and audibly said, "God if you are real, don't let me kill myself." I was an atheist, and if God didn't make himself known at that moment my life would have come to an end. I couldn't kill myself that night. It isn't that I stopped on the spot or decided not to do it, I was determined. What happened was every knife, rope, key, pill, or chemical was miraculously gone or hidden from me. I sat down and wept until I fell asleep.

Two weeks later a girl from Antioch Community Church met my best friend from high school. She invited us to church and on the first worship song I felt something I had never felt before. I'm not talking about judgment or religion. I felt the true love and presence of God come over me and I knew in my heart it was real. So I dove in, I tore my suicide note to pieces right in front of my church leader, I signed up for everything I could, and I was saved from depression and suicide forever. The moral of this is that I couldn't save myself, I wanted to die with everything I had, but he had a different plan for me.

So now you may be asking, is this the answer to mental health? Do we just need God and all of our problems will be solved miraculously one day?

Well to answer that I frankly don't know what you need. Depression is a beast that plagues millions of people all over the world. It comes to kill and destroy the life that you want to live and it doesn't matter if you love God or not. I tried the suicide hotline, the self-help books, and I read every article I could to find the cure. They just didn't work for me. I needed Jesus, and I can speak only on behalf of myself when I tell you that the cure to my depression wasn't church pews or the Bible. It wasn't some eloquent sermon that a pastor preached to me while I was in a button-down and slacks. It came when I asked Jesus to come and save me while in my sweatpants and slightly stained grey shirt. He came when I had nowhere else to go.

I know people reading this may be skeptical, and that is OK. I was skeptical too. The only form of Christianity I had seen are hypocrites who judge others, hate everyone who thinks differently, and go to church on Sunday to thump their Bibles at the "sinners" of the world. Jesus isn't like that, and neither are a lot of his churches, he is alive today and he loves you. If the medicine isn't working, and the therapy isn't working, and you are at the end with nowhere to go. Ask God to reveal himself. He is faithful to answer those who ask and mean what they are asking. He saved me, and He can save you too.

If you or someone you know is experiencing suicidal thoughts, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline — 1-800-273-8255

Report this Content
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

20544
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

948063
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

124771
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lots of people sat on the cinema wearing 3D glasses
Pinterest

Ever wonder what your friend meant when they started babbling about you taking their stapler? Or how whenever you ask your friend for a favor they respond with "As You Wish?" Are you looking for new and creative ways to insult your friends?

Well, look no further. Here is a list of 70 of the most quotable movies of all time. Here you will find answers to your questions along with a multitude of other things such as; new insults for your friends, interesting characters, fantastic story lines, and of course quotes to log into your mind for future use.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments