Coming out of my first year of college, I have a few notes on roommates. I feel like someone should talk about it, because no one warned me. People talk a lot about college. They tell horror stories about roommates. They tell stories about their roommates being their maid of honor. A lot of people gloss over what its actually like, to live with a completely different human being for nine months. (When I put it like that it sort of sounds like a pregnancy, doesn't it?)
I come from a family of five. I shared a room with my sister for years. I lived within 20 feet of a smelly, testosterone-filled, loving, wonderful brother. I know what proximity is. I, in fact, was a homebody. I hung out at my house with my parents a lot. Especially senior year... I know, I know. But seriously. I thought living with someone would be like living with people my whole life had been.
No. That is not what it is like at all.
This person, this stranger, will become closer to you than you may expect, simply because you guys are always within three to 12 feet of each other...and not always by choice.
You think you're normal, don't you? You think you have pretty average manners and practices and mannerisms and social skills? Well, let me tell you friend, no. You are not normal. And neither is your roommate. Your roommate comes from a completely different family and background from you.
She/he may come from a family who whispers a lot, and you won't notice this, but six months in, you're going to find yourself wondering why you are so irritated at their whispering. Then you will take a weekend trip home, and realize that your entire family operates at a volume of about 50/50. Then you will understand. Then you may appreciate.
Living with a roommate teaches you a lot about mindfulness. Your mess indirectly becomes their mess, because your room is only 10 feet wide (I am not being accurate here, but you get the gist). You learn to clean up after yourself, and after them. You will adopt new sleeping habits.
Your roommate may or may not become your best friend.
If your roommate becomes your best friend, you spend basically all of your time together even when you're trying to be alone. You get comfortable having someone across from you at night. You find creative ways to do more and still be lazy, like pushing bunks together so you can lay down and watch "Sweet Home Alabama" on someone's laptop. You become attuned to each other's moods and "looks."
If you're really, really lucky, your roommate becomes your biggest cheerleader. They are there when you fail a test, or get the coolest job, and they are there to reality check you when you need it. They will encourage you to sleep in on weekends, and go running in the sun, and wish you luck on test days, which seems small, but small things add up. They will know your family tree simply because they will be there to listen. They are there to grab dairy free ice cream with you. They are there to sit in the comfortable silence of stuffing your face with burrito bowls and queso.
If you're out of this world lucky, this roommate will be really different from you in the best ways. They will challenge you to get out of your comfort zone and give you the opportunity to do the same. They will take part in your life and give you a chance to take part in theirs. You will go on adventures, and share experiences and they become an important part of your life. They are going to put up with a lot of your shit, and call you on it too.
Maybe you will even get an apartment together because you can't bear the thought of getting to know another person to the same extent, and you are really gonna miss living together. They will be there for you even when you don't need it.. because they sleep in the same room as you and you share a bathroom.
To my roommate:
They don't tell you a lot about the nitty gritty of roommates. But you're really clean, so there isn't a lot of the gritty. They say that we become most like the five people we spend the most time with. I'm glad to have you at the top of my list, Rhodey. See you in August.
