If there’s anything I’ve learned from entering the adult world, it’s that I suck at being an adult.
And I’m not talking about taxes, or getting a job. Those I have, and those I understand. But somehow, being an adult means that I don’t get envious or petty about the little things, being an adult means being charitable and kind but not aloof and elitist. Being an adult means following my dreams while having them grounded in reality.
That’s not even talking about how my peers seem more put together than me. While I understand that everyone has their own hardships, some people have little things to help them along the way. Like being given a car. Or being given their collegiate education. Or being given an all-expense paid trip through Europe. Or frankly, just having any amount of money above the bare minimum.
But in this small pity party I just threw for myself, I realized something.
When I talk about success I always compare myself to my peers. I cannot be happy with my tiddlywinks accomplishments, with my poetry or my essays, because someone out there is doing it better than I can, faster than I can, and with more acclaim than I can.
So, unsurprisingly, I’m never satisfied with my successes. In comparison to my peers, my superiors, my ancestors, I’m not very much. And there isn’t much that I can say about that.
But I can say this: I’ve learned that being an adult is about realizing what you actually care about. While we’re cared for and young, it’s easier to worry about little things like how virtuous you are and whether or not you’re popular. But that’s because you don’t need to worry about your health or your ability to make money. That’s because being an adult means having to choose what you’ll care about and what you’ll put your energy into. It doesn’t allow for a lot of room to be indecisive with regards to your personal burdens: you pick up what you need to carry, and you leave the rest for everyone else to criticize or praise you for.
And finally, a quick aside: You’re not an adult because you are 18. You’re not even an adult when you get your first real job. You’re an adult when you start having to make this distinction. You get to set your own terms of success. You get to choose what really matters.
Because right now? I’m breathing, I’m going to college, and I’m working in politics. And that’s all the success I need right now.
