There may come a point in time in your relationship where your girlfriend feels that you aren’t showing or putting forth enough effort. No matter how much is going on in life, a successful relationship requires a sense of freshness, excitement and being present — I don’t necessarily mean physically present either.
When she tells you to put forth more effort, she isn’t saying it to be needy, she’s saying it because she misses you. She obviously feels that something is missing or something just isn’t there anymore that used to be, and she wants to fix it rather than throwing it all away.
She doesn’t want you to call off for the day or cancel that meeting (although some females may be very ecstatic if you do so), she just wants the relationship to be acknowledged. She wants to feel like your girlfriend. She wants to feel that she is in a relationship with another person, not just herself. She isn’t asking you for hours of your time to hang out or to see you. You don’t need to see a person in order to show them that you care and your relationship is important to you.
Believe me when I say that doing the littlest things really do mean the most. Putting in effort, if you think about it, can really cost absolutely nothing. It costs nothing to take 30 seconds out of your day to send a text saying that you can’t wait to leave work so you can see her, or that you can’t wait for the plans you have that evening. Those 30 seconds that you took to send her a text will go a long way. It will put a smile on her face for the rest of the day.
It’s important to realize that women appreciate different things than men do. Making her bed in the morning, finishing up the dishes, vacuuming the living room or finish putting away laundry, these little things that take minutes of your time will go such a long way. By doing little things like these it shows her that you pay attention to the things that need to be done. She will appreciate the effort you put into doing such a small task.
These are the type of small gestures that make us see that you are putting forth effort. I know it might not seem like that to men, but these small tasks really can go a long way in showing effort.
Showing effort should honestly feel effortless. It shouldn’t feel forced, but if you care enough to do these little things every once in a while, the conversation of putting effort is no longer a conversation because you’ve figured something out.
Don’t think that just because you made her bed once that she’s going to see your effort. Do something small once or twice a week and don’t stop when you see she’s happy. Continue to do the things you do because that’s what’s making her happy.
