This past winter, I had to miss my best friend from back home's 21st. Needless to say, he was rather vocal about it, over text message. "You've changed dude" is what I read in white lettering sitting on top of a blue bubble during my apology for missing his 21st. We've been best friends since the sixth grade. Turning 21 was a big deal for us, it's a big deal for any duo, or group of friends. It's the big one, 21!
Sure, I was upset having to miss out on his celebration but the "You've changed dude" really resonated with me, I'm sure you've heard it too. If you have gone off to said university that is said hours away in said state, then you my friend are in the same club as I am. And that is: being a different person than you were before leaving for college.
Every sociable person that attends college has that group of friends that they have put effort into keeping after leaving home for a while. Usually up until this point, had been your best friends throughout your childhood, middle school (the worst times) and High School (good times?). I've heard it from people that went college before; "You'll lose some friends, it's only natural." Yes, this is 100 percent true, but what they don't tell you is that the people who do stick around want the old you to stick around as well. My first encounter with these friends after being away for a while was something to remember. "You dress funny," "You talk different," "Who's that one girl you always take pictures with." THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS THEY DEMAND!
It was a constant barrage of irrelevant questions. It felt like an interrogation more than it felt like catch-up. This is what I said to them, this is what we should all say to them; college is the opportunity to reinvent yourself (yes, cliché) but totally true, college is the opportunity to pursue something bigger then yourself. College is the time you truly become self-aware. No, we are no longer those high school kids that paraded down the hallways in Letterman's and thought getting our class ring was the biggest achievement to date. It is difficult to explain all of this to the friends who stayed long enough to be the high school heroes or the friends who took the local junior college route, but it's the absolute truth. If you're in a fraternity or sorority, they will even ask more questions — the annoying ones most likely. It's what happens whenever you're gone for months at a time and their only glimpse into your new-found life is social media feed showing them what you want them to see.
Now, don't be fearful for the next time that you arrive back home and ask your friends for a meet-up and catch-up session. Hopefully, once explaining yourself to them, explaining why you are the person you are now, they will have a better grasp to why you refuse to wear cargo shorts, say random terms like "same" and "goals" and the occasional "One guy's would be so good right now" and why that girl in the pictures is just a friend who decided you're always a good bet to take to date parties (another thing you might have to explain). They will explain themselves for being as different as you are, but wanting to point the finger first. As for that best friend whose 21st I missed, he's coming up for my 21st. I'll be ready to interrogate and scrutinize every picture he's posted, comment on what he's wearing and ask him about that one girl he had mentioned, because he's no longer the kid from high school.
