That's THE big question, isn't it?
People search out all sorts of things to fill that void. Because, let's face it, we all have some kind of hole in our hearts -- that's just a part of the human condition, I guess. Some might say that the whole of life is an effort to answer this question. I'll just say that I certainly don't know everything, and I am equally sure that there are plenty of people out there who could give a better answer to life's big questions than I can. But I have some ideas about this, and because this crap I write may actually end up being read by someone, and it may actually help someone (even a little), I guess I should put it out there into the internet's share-o-sphere.
When I decided to write a piece on this topic, the first answer that came to mind was our mistakes. Yes, I'm awfully cynical, and I am a bit pessimistic, at times. But I'm not trying to be a downer by saying that the ways we screw things up are the most important things ever, ever.
You see, it's really our ability to learn from these mistakes that I'm trying to get at. If everything always went our way, we would never grow, never improve...never really live. If the search for that special something we can put on "the pedestal of ultimate importance" is all about finding what is missing from our lives -- like that relationship that is going to be different from the others, or that new gadget that will finally be the end-all-be-all solution to our problems, or that job that will earn us the respect (and $$$) we deserve -- then it is basically a search for something better than what we have now. In order to get better, first we have to figure out what not to do...and adjust accordingly.
The problem here is, though, that there is always, always, always something else to improve on. It never stops; it's never enough; the mistakes just keep on coming (hopefully not the same mistakes, though). So, saying that the most important thing in life is learning from our mistakes is like saying that the most important thing in life is...well, life. Which, though it may be the truest thing I write tonight, feels like a cop-out.
We can do better.
So, how about peace? The frantic pace and high expectations of modern life can drive people bonkers. His Holiness the XIV Dalai Lama once said that man surprises him because "...he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future." We all need to just let it go sometimes. You can word this however you want -- keep your priorities straight, stop to smell the roses (or coffee...mmmmm, coffee), drop your attachments, whatever. It all can be boiled down to just making sure that you don't stress so much that you lose your marbles.
Still, that's not quite the best answer either, I think. Peace of mind is extremely important, for sure, but it's not the most important thing. This goes back to the first answer. If we are always at peace, that turns into complacency, and we never improve.
Well...what about balance? We need enough peace that we don't go nuts, but enough stress that we keep on trying to make life better. We need enough mistakes that we gain wisdom, but enough "getting it right" that we actually accomplish something in life. Maybe a balance to all the opposing stressors in life is the most important thing we can work toward.
You can also say that the most important thing is health. After all, if your health gets bad enough, you sort of run out of life. Honestly, there are a bajillion answers for this question -- security, happiness, freedom, hope, justice, self-reliance ( there are as many answers as there are people to ask the question). But, as this article starts to get a bit too long, let me offer an uplifting (although a little cliché) idea for those who are still reading (thank you).
Yep, you've probably guessed it. Like the Beatles said, "All you need is love."
I didn't say "romance," or "family," or "twoooo wuuuv"...just love. It's the deep kind of love that is beyond (but can still include) all that stuff, the kind that doesn't rely on other people behaving "right," or seeing things our way. I'm talking about the kind of attitude that changes people's lives, that makes a difference and makes things better. When you have the mindset that you are going to live out love and good vibes, no matter what the circumstances, you're pretty damn close to figuring this life out. At least, that's the way I see it (for what that's worth).
