With the current generation of boys—sorry guys, I'm probably not going to sound nice here but I promise I'm not talking about all of you—it seems that almost all chivalry has gone out the window when it comes to girls. Jokes about women's rights, having side chicks, actually having side chicks and how some of you have to get seriously drunk to even think about "hooking up" with any girl at a party is seriously not OK. What happened to actually taking us on dates, to knocking on the door and introducing yourself to our parents when you pick us up, to holding our hands and kissing us in public, to taking things slow, to being romantic and buying us flowers when we are sad, to holding and hugging us when we have a hard day, to introducing us to your friends and actually wanting to spend time with us, to offering to pay for something, to phone calls saying goodnight before bed, to surprises and thrills, to saying I love you and actually meaning it, to making sure we are laughing, to remembering that you can very easily crush our hearts. What happened to the use of the words beautiful and gorgeous instead of hot and sexy? When did guys start to only care about the bra size of the girl they are "talking to" and how big their butts look in the jeans they are wearing? I hate the view of girls some guys have nowadays, and it has left me to wonder how I will ensure that any boys I have will not have the same point of views. I was able to compile a list of concepts I will teach any sons I have, so at least the girls who speak to them can have a reminder that there are good guys out there who value you more than whether or not you look like a playboy model.
To my future sons,
1. If you believe a girl is beautiful, tell her.
Don't be afraid to because too many boys nowadays are too afraid to talk to girls who they believe they can never be with. This leaves those girls thinking that they are ugly and unworthy of love from anyone.
2. Stand up to your friends who say girls are stupid and belong in the kitchen.
Try to remember that any sisters you have, and that your own mother are girls and how hurt you would be if someone called us stupid and incapable of doing anything except cooking.
3. If you like a girl, ask her on a date and get to know her.
There is nothing wrong with texting, but to really sweep a girl off her feet, please take her on a romantic date. Ask her millions of questions because no one does that enough, and tell her how beautiful she is when she talks about something she is passionate about. It may be awkward at first, but I promise you that she will be just as nervous as you.
4. If you do plan on taking a girl on a date, don't ask her over text.
Show her how serious you are and ask her in person. It's OK if you are nervous while doing it—she will most likely find it cute and will gush to all her friends that you actually asked her out in person—that you cared that much.
5. On any date, make sure to hold her hand.
It shows that you actually care and aren't trying to do anything more than be close to her in the moment.
6. Don't ever honk/text her if you are picking her up for the date.
You go to the door, knock and introduce yourself to her father and mother. Yes it will be terrifying, and you'll probably want to pee your pants but she will respect you so much for it, and her mom will love you.
7. Get to know her mom, friends and younger siblings.
They probably mean the world to her and the best way into her heart is to learn as much as possible about them. Talk to her mom about how you think her daughter is amazing, make her friends laugh at how goofy you are and play games with her younger siblings and learn what they enjoy. If they love you then it will be easy for her to love you too.
8. Please be respectful towards her dad.
Always use "yes sir" and "no sir" and treat him like you treat your own father. Don't be anyone else but yourself because he will know when you are lying. Expect him to be very protective because you are taking his little girl away and he knows exactly what is running through your mind.
9. Never lie.
I can promise you that any girl you will date will know if you are lying. It is a gift that God gave us—as you probably know from me being your mother. Be your honest self, and the right girl will love you for exactly who you are.
10. Don't stare at other girls or say another girl is pretty in front of your girlfriend.
It's petty to make her jealous that way, and she will also think that she is never going to look and be good enough for you because she doesn't look like that.
11. Compliment her on her personality.
Don't be intimidated if she is smarter than you—tell her how much you value that. Compliments on her personality will mean so much more to her than anything about her looks as looks change but personality is forever.
12. Don't laugh along with your guy friends when they make jokes about side-chicks.
It isn't funny because it is a thing that guys actually do, and it it the worse thing to do to a girl. Be faithful, and if you aren't in love with the girl anymore, let her go.
13. Let her cry in front of you.
It takes a lot for girls to open up to you and if she does, don't get mad at her for it. Hold her and wipe her tears away because you don't know how long she has been holding those in.
14. Make her dinner every now and then.
She will do everything for you that she possibly can because she loves you so much. Making her dinner or helping around the house will mean so much to her as your mere actions show her that you appreciate what she does and that you love her.
15. If you love her, tell her.
I love you is not said enough in the world today, and with life being so short it should not be something that is held back. However, never say it if you don't feel it. Saying I love you to use a girl will ruin her for the rest of her life.
16. If you get an inappropriate picture from your friends of a girl, don't ever forward it.
She is not in a good place with her self-esteem and trusted whoever sent it to you to not send it to anyone. It isn't funny or cool. Don't do it.
17. Listen to her when she talks.
So many guys say girls talk too much about nonsense. This isn't true or OK. Her words have value and the more you listen, the closer you will become to her heart.
18. Always hold the door open for any girl you see.
It is a huge sign of respect to us when it happens and makes us believe that chivalry isn't dead. Also, open the car door whenever you get a chance with your girl—it will mean the world to her.
19. Kiss her like you never want to let go and like it is the last time you will see her.
Kiss her whenever you want to and whenever you say goodbye. Remind her how much you love her, because she will need to be reminded of that every day.
20. Remember that girls are people with hearts too.
Don't ever break her heart over something stupid. She is going to give you a very important part of her that she knows you can break—please don't do it. Do everything you can to prove her wrong that all guys are the same, and love as much as you possibly can.
Love,
Your future mother who married a man who did all of these things and proved me wrong.
