Do you ever get that text message from your dad saying “so glad I got to see you this weekend!” when you know it is just sarcasm? You know, that you went home for the weekend to see friends and let loose. Then your mom is right behind him saying “how come you didn’t come home?” We all get these texts once in a while, and we all feel bad about it, but going to college is a different world. Your friends last a semester unless you are in Greek life which is not always sunshine and rainbows. Sometimes, your friends consist of students studying the same major, in the same study hall each and every night. Your friends, siblings, or close family back home are forever. They are always going to be there, on holidays, the occasional weekends, and are always down to let loose with you for “old times’ sake."
In college, you find yourself working hard to make your transcript awesome, with extra-curricular activities, minors, and etcetera. You work part time in a retail job that stresses you out way more than it should. You get scheduled on your requested days off, when you are not available, or 15 minutes before your next class. You work hard to make those lunch dates with the few friends you try to hold onto after each semester. You stay up long nights, doing homework that even your professor could not make time for. Who assigns 40+ hours of Calculus homework due in one week? You even try to keep up with the news, because there is always something new that people get hyped about. Not to mention that Netflix binge that hides the stress away until season one is over. All of these things are constantly on your mind: balancing school, work, extras, and a social life, not to mention those of us that go above and beyond to make it to the gym every day and have a regular sleep schedule.
Unless it is a holiday or scheduled event with family, a weekend home is time to relax. A weekend home is what college students mark in big red letters on their spiral planners. It is the group texts with all your friends back home counting down the days. It is the plans on how you are going to get in the clubs without a cover charge or who is buying the shots tonight. It is the ONE weekend you get your school work done before Sunday night.
What parents do not understand is that we love them with everything in us. We are thankful that they have pushed us as far as we are. But we are also in the biggest world wind of ever changing moments. We would love to see them, go out to a movie, or relax, but normally that is not possible, especially if your parents did not go to college and do not understand the daily struggles. The first thing you are asked is “How’s school going?”, “What was your last exam grade?”, and “Have you looked into any more scholarships?” And suddenly you remember you have an exam in two weeks, and you have no idea what Thursday’s class went over because you were struggling to stay awake. Next, you are adding up your exam grades in your head and calculating what you need to make on the next exam. Then you remember your fraternity dues are due Monday. It is a quick reminder of everything you need to do all at once when really we need to take each thing day by day. Parents are amazing and truly want to look out for you. They think they are, but when students come home, it feels like high school all over again when school should be the last thing on your mind and first Friday is on the agenda.
My roommate’s mom texted him yesterday asking “why don’t you want to spend your birthday with family?”
Good question, with a few answers. We all enjoy the cliché birthday celebration with the awkward singing of "Happy Birthday to You" while everyone stares you down, and you put on your best, but somewhat uncomfortable smile. And yes, blowing out candles and seeing Uncle Joe trip over the dog gate in the hallway will be memorable and hilarious. But what about an entire house full of kids your age, screaming happy birthday while clinking glasses and cheering you on? Or your best friend busting it on the dance floor because her heels were just a little too big? Or you getting pulled on stage with Drag Queens when they find out it is your birthday? Or the saved Snapchat videos you took that looked like a blurred mess but a helluva good time? Or waking up the next morning on the bathroom tile because it felt great when you were drunk last night? Uncle Joe’s bruised knee will be alright next year.
We love you mom and dad, but we are young, we spent 18 years living in your house and under your rules. We promise to be on our best behavior during Thanksgiving dinner and even clean our room and run errands for you. But please, let us have a weekend once in a while back home to enjoy ourselves, and maybe even be our DD for a night?
