I suffer from chronic migraines. Ever since I was seven years old, I would get that severe pounding in my skull; my hair would hurt; I would throw up for hours; I couldn’t be in rooms with light, hear anything or even smell certain smells. Over the past two decades, I’ve learned how to deal with my symptoms and my condition, but it does still take over my life every once in a while causing me to lose hours, sometimes days, of my life.

In fact, I look at my migraine tracker that I keep on my phone, and 55 percent of my year was spent with a migraine. Yes, OVER HALF of my year I had a migraine. While that may seem like a lot, I’m just thankful for finally finding a treatment program that somewhat keeps my migraines in check.

But, there are a few things that irk me — like the unsolicited advice I get from people who think they know how to treat a migraine, think they’ve had a migraine when it’s actually a minor headache, or worse, have never had a headache in their lives (By the way, if you’re that person, I envy you).

So, I’ve compiled a list of what NOT to say to someone who suffers from migraines.

1. Have you tried popping an Advil?

Really? You think I hadn’t thought of that? I’ve been popping Advil since I was very young, and newsflash, Advil doesn’t work on migraines. At least not mine – or anyone else I know who gets them chronically. And no, I don’t need to hear about Excedrin Migraine either. Those commercials make me angry considering I’ve tried the medication, and it does not do what it is advertised to do.

2. Try getting that ear piercing! My friend/cousin/best friend’s aunt’s daughter got it, and their migraines disappeared!

So, I get that the whole ear piercing as a cure for migraines went viral, but there are no scientific studies backing this supposed “curse.” It’s purely anecdotal evidence, which means that the only real evidence supporting that this cures migraines, is just from a few people who have gotten the piercing and have posted it online letting others know how they’ve been migraine-free ever since they took the needle plunge.

3. I feel bad for you.

Honestly, this is probably one of the worst things you can say to me. As if I don’t feel bad enough for myself that I miss out on important functions, social gatherings, even days I have to myself, because I’m stuck in bed, in the dark, trying to fight off nausea and the urge to slam my head into a brick wall. Instead of feeling bad for me, support me. Understand. Take the time to talk to me about my condition and how it affects me. Feeling bad for me just makes me feel even worse for myself, and that is the worst way to feel when you are trying to manage a chronic condition.

I have a whole list of things that have been said to me over the years, but these have been the most popular – and the most frustrating.

And, if you have been one of the supportive ones, I thank you immensely. Your understanding means the world to me, especially on my journey trying to deal with this chronic, invisible, incurable condition.