What My New Self Would Say To The Old Me

What My New Self Would Say To The Old Me

Everything you're going through now has a purpose.

There comes a time in life when we all change. Sometimes that means growing up, wising up, or just realizing that the way you're living just isn't working. You realize that a change in your life is necessary to move forward, be a better you, or see progress. This change happened to me a couple of weeks ago, and it was the best decision I ever made. So, here's my new self writing a letter to the old me.

Dear old me,

You really think you have things all figured out. You have the right relationship, good friends, and your education/career all planned out. You know what's best, and there's no changing your mind. Well I, the future you, am here to tell you that you're very wrong.

You see, right when we think we have things all figured out is exactly when they come crashing down. You've seen this before, since you and I have had a few of these life changes thrown our way already. We've had to re-evaluate friendships, relationships, and plans for our life. Boyfriends that didn't treat us even close to right, friends that betrayed us, and college dreams that fell through. But we got past all of that, and now you think you have it figured out this time. Wrong again.

You think since you're an adult now, the friends you have will be the friends you always have. WRONG. Sadly, the friends you have as an adult can be just as petty and immature as the ones you had to deal with in high school, especially if they are some of the same ones from high school. They will stab you in the back, betray you, use you, expect you to always be there for them, and then leave you when you need them most. Now, you will always have that select few that stay with you through time, even if you don't talk every day, and those are the ones you cling tight to. But don't worry, you will continue to make friends through every stage of life, some true and some not.

As far as relationships, that can change with the wind nowadays. Society makes it easy to cheat, and even encourages it with the common ideas of side chicks, etc. You will have to deal with liars, cheaters, abusers, and just plain horrible guys before you will find the one. But when you find the guy that loves you with all your flaws, and the one that you can deal with his version of bad, keep him. No guy is perfect, as you've already begun to figure out, so when you find the one that is your kind of perfect, that is the one you fight for.

Now on to life plans. You may have an idea of exactly where you're going to school and what you're going to do in life, but be prepared for that to change 50 times. Money is always an issue, and keeping your grades up to earn scholarships. And then when life happens and you find "the one" you may change again, because going to the dream school across the country doesn't work quite as good as going to the one an hour away. Sacrifices will be made, and you will learn in what department you want to make those. Just remember your education is important, and no matter what life throws your way, you can't let it make you sacrifice getting it. Because when boyfriends leave, friends abandon you, and you feel lost, you have that accomplishment to fall back on, and that will make life a lot easier to handle.

Most importantly, let the past be the past. Don't let that horrible relationship ruin the great one in the future. Don't let that girl that turned her back on you after years of friendship when you needed her most, ruin the friendships you will have in the future with people who actually care. Don't let setbacks in your education or career keep you from reaching the finish line. And don't let anything life throws your way, health, sadness, loss, keep you from moving forward.

I'm sitting here in the future and I can tell you that all these changes are good. The friends lost, the bad relationships, the life changes, they are all meant to happen to lead you toward a much greater plan.

Keep the faith, and don't sweat the small stuff. You're gonna be great one day.


Your future self

Cover Image Credit: grrlscrap / Flickr

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Why Girls Love The Dad Bod

If your man can rock the dad bod, he's a keeper.


In case you haven't noticed lately, girls are all about that dad bod.

Girls have been dealing with body image issues since the beginning of time until recent (for those of you who consider yourselves to be "Thick thin") I hadn't heard about this body type until my roommate mentioned it. She used to be crazy over guys she claimed had the dad bod.

After observing the guys she found attractive, I came to understand this body type well and was able to identify it. The dad bod is a nice balance between a beer gut and working out. The dad bod says, "I go to the gym occasionally, but I also drink heavily on the weekends and enjoy eating eight slices of pizza at a time." It's not an overweight guy, but it isn't one with washboard abs, either.

The dad bod is a new trend and fraternity boys everywhere seem to be rejoicing. Turns out skipping the gym for a few brews last Thursday after class turned out to be in their favor. While we all love a sculpted guy, there is just something about the dad bod that makes boys seem more human, natural, and attractive. Here are a few reasons that girls are crazy about the dad bod.

It doesn't intimidate us.
Few things are worse than taking a picture in a bathing suit, one being taking a picture in a bathing suit with a guy who is crazy fit. We don't want a guy that makes us feel insecure about our body. We are insecure enough as it is. We don't need a perfectly sculpted guy standing next to us to make us feel worse.

SEE ALSO: Slim Thick Is The New Thin

We like being the pretty one.
We love people saying "they look cute together." But we still like being the center of attention. We want to look skinny and the bigger the guy, the smaller we feel and the better we look next to you in a picture.

Better cuddling.
No one wants to cuddle with a rock. Or Edward Cullen. The end.

Good eats.
The dad bod says he doesn't meal prep every Sunday night so if you want to go to Taco Tuesday or $4 pitcher Wednesday, he'd be totally down. He's not scared of a cheat meal because he eats just about anything and everything.

You know what you're getting.
Girls tend to picture their future together with their guys early on. Therefore, if he already has the dad bod going on, we can get used to it before we date him, marry him, have three kids. We know what we are getting into when he's got the same exact body type at the age of 22 that he's going to have at 45.

So there you go. A simple break down of why girls everywhere are going nuts over this body type on males. We like it. We love it. We want some more of it. So here's to you dad bods, keep it up. Men, confidently strut that gut on the beach because while you stare at us in our bikinis we will be staring just as hard.

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Don't Let Your Fear Of Relationships Get In The Way Of Your Happiness

The line "It's not you, it's me," basically describes my life.


So here it is. An explanation as to why social and dating lives can be a literal mess.

If you are anything like me, relationships are very difficult. Something about the possibility of hurting someone or being hurt is generally a big issue. Just the thought of hurting another person who has been nothing but wonderful to me is a daunting fear of mine that I can not seem to shake. Or being so in your head thinking you will be equally hurt at any given moment is even worse in some cases. The fear of getting attached to someone and then your entire world crashing during a break up is definitely scary.

Not to mention that even everyday anxiety can cause relationship issues. Anxiety comes in many forms. It definitely is not limited to just being nervous or having a panic attack. Sometimes anxiety is as simple as thinking about something for too long and before you know it, your heart is beating uncontrollably for what seems like no reason at all.

Recently I have been having a lot of these issues. The overthinking, confusion, and fear; overthinking about whether or not you and your S.O. are really going to work (when there are no reasons whatsoever that you wouldn't work); being confused about what you are or what you may possibly mess up; and if your anxiety and constant fear about relationships will eventually drive that significant other away. Whatever your tick may be, I am here to tell you that is not the end of the world.

If you are (for some reason) having any doubts or worries about your current relationship, talk to your boyfriend/girlfriend. DO NOT go throughout every single day constantly "wondering" and never give yourself any answers. The worst thing to do is trying to solve these problems (that may not really even be true problems) by yourself. Talking from experience, even if you don't want to talk to your SO about these thoughts, there is always someone willing to listen. Whether it be your best friend, your mom, whomever, these worries will not go away without talking them out.

Don't let your anxieties get the best of you. Majority of the time your partner is more than willing to hear you out instead of ignoring your concerns. Taking the time to explain where your head is at is good for the both of you. It allows you to vent what is on your chest and also gives your significant other a little insight as to what you are going through or thinking about rather than both of you being clueless about the other.

If you are someone who struggles with attachment and anxieties while dating, believe me, you are not alone. I, as well as MANY others, I'm sure, go through the same things. Without a doubt, I can tell whoever is reading this, nearly every couple goes through this at least once, if not more in their relationship. Don't fret, it is completely normal for this to be an experience for you and your partner.

So remember: Talk things out. Express yourself. And most importantly, don't worry unless you absolutely have to.

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