This past Monday, on July 4th, my sister got married.
The ceremony, despite being unintentionally patriotic, entwined two families forever in a close knit environment. It also, in turn, left myself as the sole female owner of the surname of Branco. I am the youngest of three girls and have only known female relatives on my paternal side aside from a single uncle. My cousins have differing last names and all of my aunts have taken the last names of the husbands — respectively. Three years ago, my eldest sister got married and now that my other sister has followed sought, this idea of identity and the story of a name has come into my hands.
What is it in a last name that can make you think about those who share it? Is there anything special in keeping it or a more practical decision in joining the stories of another family? In a swift act, not quite as Highlander-like as I'd want it to be, there can only be one and that one just so happens to be me. To be totally honest, I’m still way too young for my own thoughts never mind the thought of taking on another name in regards to marriage. The future, however, is open for too much interpretation. Being the sole person to either carry on a name or let the legacy end gracefully is something I think about now and again. It’s something I may or may not deal with later on in life.
As a female in a predominantly patriarchal society, it's socially expected of both parties in a masculine and feminine relationship to take on the husband's surname. A tradition that has lived on in eclectic groups of families. There's nothing inherently bad in choosing to change the last name you've grown up with, in a way it's almost liberating. It can act as a fresh start to a life with someone you want share every day with and start a story from scratch. The endless possibilities in sharing a name can form a togetherness that never leave.
There are, of course, changes to traditions. Whether it’s in hyphenated last names, taking the wife’s last name, or just keeping both parties original last names, any couple can pick from a plethora of decisions. It doesn’t lessen the love they share or the uniqueness of the relationship. The ability to choose who you want to be and select the pages you put into the book of your life is something so valuable that it shouldn’t be predetermined out of a tradition that might make you feel uncomfortable.
Personally, I can't picture myself dropping my last name. Both from my own laziness in getting used to the idea of responding to anything other than what I’m used to and that fact that I take my last name as something that represents who I was, who I am and who I want to be. My father has passed and the name Branco remains with his own father and his brother, though for millennials, I might be the Chosen One (which yes, is so melodramatic that it turns me into a Luke Skywalker figure). So until then, I stay as I am. Who I want to be.
