Working with children this summer has really made me reflect upon my own childhood. I realized that I am extremely lucky because I had mentors and adults who believed in me and encouraged me–not every child gets that opportunity. Throughout my education, I have had individuals teach me life lessons that are far more invaluable than anything I could have learned from a textbook.
Fourth grade was the first time I remember feeling genuinely supported and encouraged by a teacher. I had an amazing homeroom teacher who was always so compassionate and gave specialized attention to students. Everyday before work time, she would send us off with her motto: “you can do it, so get to it!” It was so powerful that to this day, sometimes I repeat it to myself when I feel discouraged or inadequate. This same teacher even came to my house with her dog and a going away gift when she heard that I would be moving from Los Angeles, CA to Mercer Island, WA later that summer. It is teachers like this who truly care about each student as individuals that have the power to make positive impacts. They not only nourish the attitudes of young students, but help children grow and learn to have aspirations as big as their imaginations.
After that, my teachers only continued to serve as role models and played a crucial part in my support system. In seventh grade, my Biology teacher sparked my interest in the human brain and how people think. Then in eighth grade, my leadership advisor encouraged my growth by having me read 7 Effective Habits of a Teenager and instilling a strong base of morals and healthy practices.
In high school, my Student Government teacher encouraged me to stay determined despite the sting of loss. At the time, I was one who let my fear of potentially messing up cloud my decision to even try at all. She taught me that the only failure that exists is the absence of effort. My senior year AP English teacher told me that I was enough in my current state of being. He helped me understand that I did not need anyone else’s validation or comparison to know that I was valuable, smart, talented or anything else for that matter.
In college, it is almost like everything came together in its rightful place. I have never felt so whole and true to myself, and again, I have mainly my mentors to thank. My advisor and one of my favorite psychology professors helped me know that I always had somewhere to turn when I felt lost or confused in my academic (or personal) endeavors. Last but not least, my therapist taught me that it is okay to ask for help. He pushed me to ask important questions, many of which pertained to my long-term goals and unhealthy patterns in my life that were preventing me from attaining them. Finally, he allowed me to let go of my past and have the confidence to take charge of my own life and to start living for me–to look out for my own needs and desires and follow my own path.
At my current job, our boss gave us the advice of "Q-tip," or quit taking it personally. This is something that I know many people (myself included) struggle with. It is so darn easy to take situations and spin them to seem like the root of the issue or conflict is always you. Truthfully, that is rarely the case. We are all so caught up in our own insecurities that it seems like every snarky comment, condescending tone or glance is because of something that we did. Part of the reason why I was so shy during my childhood was because of this very concern. As I have grown, developed theory of mind and thought about my experiences from different perspectives, I have realized that you have no idea why people do or say the things that they do. Whether someone’s behavior is directed at you or not, it says far more about the other person, than it does of you. Above all, please remember that what you say to others (especially those who are younger than you) carries more weight than you may realize.
