There are a lot of things that I can think of off the top of my head that I definitely get from my mom: my curly hair, my love for scrunchies, my ability to turn up to Earth, Wind, and Fire, among various other day to day occurrences. Everything makes me cry. I enjoy driving a mini-van. I think that the library is a cool hang out. I'm allergic to peppermint and avocados. But watching my mom raise me and model life for me for the past eighteen years has contributed so much to who I am as a human being besides trivial genetic similarities, my taste in music and emotional stimuli.
My mom has taught me so much about loyalty. In fact, I think that because of her this is one of the most important values in my personal bank of morals. She is dedicated to the people at her company and has spent countless years progressing with them. She is always there for her friends even when they are showing her their worst selves. She gives everyone the benefit of the doubt even when they don't deserve it. She is best friends with her own mother. She calms our dog down when he's limping or having a nightmare despite all of the stress he's caused her. She has sacrificed an unbelievable amount for her children. She loves unconditionally, and it's admirable.
She has also taught me that trust is a privilege, not a right. She is the reason why I've learned that you don't just allow anyone to break down your walls. She has taught me that those who deserve to be let in will wait patiently outside until you open the door for them. Despite this, she has also taught me that when you do finally give someone your trust and they abuse it, you have the right to stand up for yourself and claim that you have been hurt and violated. We share a similar tendency to be passive, but we have learned together to take ownership of ourselves in light of the people who try to manipulate our kindness.
Whether she knows it or not, my mom has taught me a lot about being a feminist. She taught me that my body and brain belong to me and only me. She taught me that I exist for myself, and I can find fulfillment in anything that inspires me. She has always been body positive. She has made me aware of how women are silenced and interrupted and manipulated and gas-lighted. She has encouraged me to never define my self-worth through the male gaze. She has given me space to value my mental health. She has taught me empathy. She has taught me the power of autonomy. She has taught me the power of femininity. She has taught me the power of self-respect. For all this I am grateful.
My mom makes me want to be a mom someday. I hope that I have a daughter. I hope that she laughs at the daily pictures of the family dog that I will text to her, wears her ringlet curls in scrunchies, adds a few of my favorite songs to her car playlist, sneezes at least three times when she chews peppermint gum, and becomes a beautiful feminist warrior, deconstructing the patriarchy and fueling her self-worth each and every day through all the cycles of laughter and tears. I hope that I can inspire her just as powerfully as my mom has inspired me.
I love you, mom. Thank you for everything.
