What I Miss the Most

What I Miss the Most

It's the little things about home that have the biggest piece of my heart.
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Everyone told me I was going to get homesick while at college. "You'll miss your mom's home-cooked meals and having your laundry done for you," they said. However, the things I miss about home are much more than just a big bed and being with my family: there are specific things that I miss more than anything.

1. My mom's back scratches

Yeah, my mom is the queen of back scratches. And no matter how much of an attention-snob I can be, she never says no. This might sound cliché, but my mom's back scratches are her subtle way of showing me how much she genuinely loves me. She puts her tired, exhausted day behind her and gives ME the attention. Instead of complaining about all she had on her to-do list, she puts me first, and being shown that kind of love is something I don't get to experience every day in college.

2. My bathtub

There's nothing better than coming home from a long day and sitting in a nice, hot bath. And while the long, rough days seem to appear more and more as my college life progresses, the availability of bathtubs has become less and less. In my opinion, this, my friends, is the greatest tragedy of today's society.

3. My family's "smell"

Did your friends growing up ever tell you that your clothes had a distinctive "smell?" I never believed them... until I came to college. Walking into my house the first time I came home my freshman year, I was hit with an extremely familiar scent and immediately knew I was home. Your "smell" is comforting- so comforting that you don't even notice it. I miss feeling that comfort when I walked into a room or climbed into bed.

4. Leftovers

Few things are better than lasagna three days after it's made (and that's all I have to say about that).

5. Fighting with my sisters

My sisters challenge me to be a better person, and when they know I'm not acting the way that I should be, they call me out on it. While I always saw this as a negative, I'm starting to miss it. I miss having them put me on the spot when I'm in the wrong. I miss having them challenge me when I'm not being myself. There's nothing better than knowing that the people who love you are putting your well-being above your feelings.

6. Watching Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy back-to-back with my family

Nothing did I take for granted more in high school than the hour my family spent together every night watching our favorite shows. My mom is a pro when it comes to Wheel of Fortune, and if you were to watch Jeopardy with my dad, you'd think he was the reincarnate Einstein. But it's not my parents' mental capacities that I miss the most: it's the time we all spent in the presence of one another. That's home to me.

7. The sound of my dad's lawn mower coming on a Sunday afternoon

Sundays are my dad's only day off of work, yet he spends every one out in the yard. If I were him, I'd use this day to nap, watch football, and spend a whole lot of me-time. However, my dad puts our house and our family over his desires every Sunday. And no matter how many times we tell him to "come inside" or "let us hire a lawn repairman," he always refuses. I miss getting to witness the selflessness of my role model every weekend.

I miss home. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am absolutely loving where I am in college. I love my friends, I love my new home, and I love my life. However, a little piece of my heart is still at home with my parents, my dog, and my couch, and no matter how hard I try to put those all behind me, I never will be able to.

Cover Image Credit: Snoozer Pet Products

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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You Don't Have To See Your Friends Every Day

We all have lives that we're trying to balance.

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For as long as I can remember, whenever I would have no plans and go on Snapchat to see all my friends having fun without me, I would get FOMO. I'd get really sad and think that they didn't care about me because they didn't invite me. It would get me in such a bad mood that it would ruin any chance of going out with someone else who wanted to hang out.

I don't know if it was just my anxiety of people hating me or if it was a fear of missing out (FOMO). Even recently, it has gotten me down. However, over the past month or so, I finally realized something: you don't have to hang out every day to still consider each other friends.

Everyone has a life that they're trying to balance, especially after high school. People work (maybe even more than one job) and go to school. Some have to take care of family members or do things for their family. Some people are focusing on themselves. Some have relationships to maintain. Whatever it is, we all have lives that we're trying to balance.

We all want to have fun, but school, work, and our families are the priorities.

Even if they're out hanging with other people, it doesn't mean that they don't want to hang out with you. Free time is served on a "first come, first serve" basis. It's hard to balance hanging out with multiple people.

I also learned that it doesn't matter the number of friends you have. What truly matters is the quality. Ask yourself, "Who's there for me when I really need someone?" The people who are there for you when you really need someone to talk to are your TRUE friends.

It's not easy to be there for someone and make them feel better. If they offer to listen or give advice, they care!

I know that it may feel like you have no friends sometimes, but that's not true. Life after high school is hard at times. You're an adult. You have to do adult things and take care of yourself first.

You have to realize that everyone has a busy schedule and not all your friends' schedules will align with yours, but that's okay! You don't need to hang out with friends every day to consider them your friends. What truly matters is if they are there for you when you need them.

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