Two years ago, I never would have pictured myself to be where I am now.
If you were to ask me where I saw myself I would have told you, "I don't know, probably living on campus at a college far away, studying to get a business degree."
Well, here I am two years later, I am 18-years-old, I live at home and go to a community college, I am studying Veterinary Technology, and I am engaged.
Not at all what I or anyone else had pictured for myself!
I had plans set out for my future. Go to college, get a degree, get a job, get married, have kids and live happily ever after! Things change.
And it's okay for things to change and it's amazing to see how everything has a purpose.
I always knew I was different. All throughout my preteen years and years in high school, I felt as if I didn't belong. I was never the popular girl or the girl who got invited to go everywhere or every party. A lot of weekends I sat at home and felt bad for myself for not making plans with anyone. I dated boys, not men. I would constantly get thrown into drama and issues that sometimes were my fault. I transferred from a private school to a public school for my senior year.
Everything changed during my senior year, on December 31st, 2015. It all started with a simple follow from a cute guy on Instagram. He followed me, and I followed him because when I looked at his profile, boy, cupid had shot an arrow right through my heart.
Nervously, I asked my friend at the time (we'll just name her Kelly because we aren't friends anymore) what I should do to get his attention. I went through and started liking all of his pictures and videos and so did he.
Finally, he messaged me. From there on out, it was history. Something was different about the way he and I could talk to each other. He and I clicked right away. His name is James.
It didn't take long for me to figure out he was in the military, and that he also lived 562 miles away from me. (Yes, that is an exact number). We exchanged numbers and we talked every day and spent countless minutes on the phone and on FaceTime. He told me about who he is and what his hopes and dreams are. He explained to me his love for his country and how he always wanted to serve and would always play "army" as a young kid in his backyard. James also told me his experience of going through BCT (Basic Combat Training) and Infantry school. He also told me he would be leaving for a deployment overseas in a years time.
He finally asked me to be his girlfriend officially on March 2nd of 2016. It became challenging, though. How was I ever going to tell my parents I had met this guy online? How would I do a long distance relationship? How would I do knowing he was in the military? How did I fall for someone so far away from me? How would I ever deal with him being overseas on a deployment?
First off, there was definitely no way I could be able to tell my parents about me meeting him online. I'll be honest. I lied to people about how we met. I didn't tell my parents because at the time, I was only 17 years old and I did not have a doubt in my mind that they would make me stop talking to someone who I had never met in person. Looking back, I wish I had told them sooner.
Secondly, there became issues with people who I thought were my friends. I used to work with Kelly and I explained to her how much James meant to me. I told her our plans about meeting each other and I explained that I would like to bring him to our senior prom. That got shot down immediately. I was instantly shunned from my "friend group" for wanting to change my future. James and I (at the time) had talked about moving in together after I had graduated high school. That obviously did not happen but at the time I wish my friends would have supported me. I got caught up trying to get them to understand James and I's relationship. I worried about what they thought of me.
I wanted their approval.
It took me a long time to realize that I was never going to get it. So I decided to move on and figure out who my real friends and supporters were. This realization was huge for me and James.
I didn't have to look very far to find those supporters. I found some of my best friends during this time. True friends don't try to discourage you from what you believe in. All of my friends welcomed me in and they loved me for believing in my relationship with James.
James and I finally met face to face on April 8th, 2016. Four months after meeting online. It was the best moment of my life. He was everything to me and more when we finally had the opportunity to reach out and touch each other rather than trying to reach through a phone screen.
James did come back up to Ohio for my senior prom and over the summer I spent the whole month of July in his hometown. We spent the dog days of summer becoming closer and closer and I only longed to be with him more. I went on vacation with his family in August to New Orleans and to Pensacola Florida. So many memories were created in such a short time.
James was there for me in one of the hardest moments of my life as well. He got in his car and drove eight hours to me the day my grandmother passed away. He was there for me through it all. The goodbyes were always hard but we always knew we'd see each other soon again.
After countless visits during the summer, the days turned shorter and the leaves began to fall off of the trees. The feeling came over me that the distance between us was only going to grow from 562 miles to 6,952 miles in the coming months.
His deployment was coming and it was coming fast.
I knew from the moment I met James I wanted nothing more than to be with him. It didn't take long for me to realize I wanted to be with him for forever.
On December 3rd of 2016, James asked me to marry him in front of his family and our friends. It was a magical moment. It was everything I could dream of. And of course, I said yes!
We spent the holidays together and we spent time preparing and saying our final goodbyes for the coming year. We reminisced on how far we had come in the past year. From meeting online to meeting face to face, from dealing with high school drama to facing the reality of a life ending. I graduated from high school and I had gotten engaged all in one year. Even with the physical miles between James and I, he was with me through it all.
It broke my heart to see him turn and walk away the day we said goodbye. I never wanted to leave his arms. I miss him so dearly and dream of the day of him walking towards me again.
Looking back now, one of the biggest things I have learned about dealing with distance is that it is only temporary. There are good days and there are bad days. Whether your significant other is in the military or if you are in a long distance relationship- the pain of saying goodbye is really only an "I'll see you soon."
James is worth the wait to me. He was worth waiting 4 months to meet in person, and he is worth waiting a year for. I would wait for him for a lifetime if I had to. My love only grows stronger for him each day that passes.
To those who feel that the distance never goes away- the biggest thing is to surround yourself with those who support you. The people who treated my relationship with James as if it were a joke, mean nothing to me now. I found that cutting the negativity out of my life earlier only makes it better. Support of family and friends helps make the time and the distance seem less immense.
Everything happens for a reason. James came into my life for a reason and my life has drastically changed for the better. The day he returns home to me, I will be home again. He is my home. Don't let the distance and time win. You are bigger than the challenges that surround your relationship. They will only make you both stronger. It is only temporary and what's ahead of you is much greater than the challenges you are facing now. True love is worth the wait.
