I grew up in a very small town in Southern Alabama. I have been here my entire life. I now attend college in that same small town, and I hate it. It’s not the people, and it’s not the school. I’ve made great friends here and my school is actually very beautiful, however, this town does nothing for me.

You see, at 18 I got the chance to go overseas for the first time, and it was the first time I had ever left the South. It made a remarkable impact on my life, and I know everyone says this, but it truly changed the course of my life forever. I tasted freedom. I saw the sunshine on the other side of the world. That changed everything. I never wanted to come back.

I know this town is not for me, because every time I get the chance to leave, when it’s time to come “home” it never feels right. I always have this sinking feeling that going back to my hometown is not the right thing to do. I dread it. Most people go on trips and say “Well that was fun, but I’m really ready to be back at home now.” Not me. I have never wanted to go back.

My college friends always get so upset when I talk about transferring schools or leaving the city, but what they don’t understand is that I did not get the fresh start they did when they decided to come to school in this city. They got away. I still run into people I went to high school with at the grocery store. I still see that ex-boyfriend I always wanted to forget about. I still hear the rumors that constantly expand in such a small town, and sometimes, I’m still in them. I never get away. I watch everyone I went to school with my whole life growing up and getting married and having children and settling down right here, in this same old town where the cycle will just repeat itself until the end of time and it’s terrifying. I don’t want that to be me.

All of the places that used to be so special for me growing up now seem oppressive and suffocating. They hold memories of a life that I can’t, and never want back. I’m not saying that growing up here did not benefit me. I am thankful for the life I was given and the place I was raised. I received some of my core values from this small town and I will always hold that dear to me. However, I’ve grown as much as I can here, and now all it’s doing is holding me back. I cannot pursue my career here, and I most certainly cannot raise my family here. It’s nothing against the people or the town itself, it’s just not for me.