There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about what life would be like if you were still here with us...with me.

I think about all of the things you have missed since you left and all of the things that you will miss in the future. Sometimes I find myself sitting and trying to remember what your voice sounds like and it's hard. It's hard because I have gone so long without hearing it. So long without hearing your laugh or seeing your smile or feeling the warmth of your big hugs. I wish I could say that it gets easier, but it doesn't.

Sometimes I find myself faking a smile or a laugh. Somedays people ask me how I'm doing and I respond with the typical, "Oh, I'm wonderful! Things are great." In reality, I'm broken inside, but I respond this way because I want to seem strong. But am I?

Life is hard, but life would be so much easier if you were here. You have missed so much. My move in day at college, my first real heartbreak, three Christmases, three birthdays, all of my accomplishments in college, this list goes on. I think about all of those times that we talked about you coming and surprising me at school to see me and take me out to lunch or dinner. I wonder what you would say about my life now. Would you be proud of me? What advice would you give me for life and the crazy world we live in? I wish I could just talk to you.

Sometimes I'll see daughters and their dad's at the movies, out to eat, or just laughing and talking and I wish that it was us. I wish that I had one more day with you, one more hug, one more time to hear your laugh or see your smile, one more time to hear you tell me that you love me.

What I think about the most is what you will miss in the future. My college graduation, my future husband asking you for my hand in marriage, you walking me down the aisle and giving me away, but not really giving me away. You'll miss our father-daughter dance to "My Little Girl" by Tim McGraw. You'll miss the birth of your grandchildren and they will never get to meet the amazing man that I got to call daddy.

All of these things are things that I think about every day. It's painful and it hurts, but life goes on and we keep living. That's what you would want us to do.

I'll cherish the memories that I had with you and all of the times that we shared. I will continue to look for your guidance in all that I do and try my best to make you proud.

I love you more, Dad. I'll always be your #1 Baby Girl.