Freshman year is a big transition in someone's life. Whether you decided to stay home or go across the country, it's a change. You don't have the same 7 a.m.-3 p.m. lifestyle. No one is going to watch over your shoulder and keep you on track. You are finally "doing you." You have creativity with classes and then your choice of major. You get to finally pick what you'd like to learn instead of Regents Exams or Keystone Exams dictating your education. Throughout this duration of this semester and the last I've picked up a few pearls of wisdom, academic and not.
1. You aren't the only one changing.
When most of us go off to college, we're excited for the change. Some people are more daring and try new hairstyles for the transition while others just buy a few new articles of clothing in an attempt to change their style. But we never ever think that our friends will change. We imagine our high school best friends to remain that way for years to come, but that isn't the case. People will become anew and you might not like what they've become. Freshman year has taught me that your true self start to emerge once the high school drama is behind us.
2. Saying "no" is perfectly okay.
I don't mean saying no to sex, although saying "no" to sleeping with someone is perfectly okay too. It's okay to decline an invitation to go out. Some nights are better spent in a poorly lit dorm room with Grey's Anatomy. Contrary to popular belief, not every Thursday night needs to be spent in whatever bar or fraternity house you congregate in.
3. You will miss the most unexpected people.
I never thought I'd miss some of the people I graduated with. But here I am, wondering how school is going for the girl who sat near me in most of my classes. I'm thinking about the boy who always cracked a joke under his breathe that made me laugh. And most importantly, you miss your parents. I didn't think when I left in August that I'd miss my mother. I was so happy to have freedom that I never expected to need her guidance once I was out, but trust me, you need your parents more than you ever thought you did.
4. It isn't lame to need help.
In high school, going to extra help wasn't something one would brag about. But in college, or at least mine, your sources are your biggest weapon. Friends who've taken your class before will help you and believe it or not, college tutors are the best things ever. Tutors are usually getting paid by the school so signing up for a session is beneficial for both parties. Professors also have office hours for a reason, most are very willing to explain the material a second time if you come to them with questions.
5. Do not chase people.
If someone isn't putting the effort into being in your life, do not waste your time on them. People will come and go throughout the year, whether they attend your school or they're from elsewhere. High school was easy because everyone you really cared about lived close by, but now with miles separating loved ones, relationships fall out. People who want to remain in your life will take steps to do so, but if you feel a relationship is a one way street, then it's better to let it go.
6. You will not always get what you want.
Maybe high school was easy and you joined any club you wanted to, but college is not the same. Student government is not a come one come all. Greek life does not accept everyone that wants to join. You might not even be picked to be on someones intramural basketball team. It is not the end of the world. Life will go on and you will find exactly where you belong. There is a club, intramural, association or greek organization for everyone. Just because you don't get exactly what you had in mind doesn't mean you shouldn't keep looking.
7. Long distance relationships aren't doomed.
"Distance makes the heart grow fonder" has never been more true. I've seen couples break up because they say that the distance is too much but honestly I've seen couples beat the odds. Some people can do miles apart without a problem because love can conquer all. FaceTime was invented for a reason, seeing your significant over a screen is still more than nothing. And just think about how exciting and great it is when you finally can see each other. All in all, just because you're going away to school or your other half is, it does not mean the relationship has to end.
8. The Freshman 15 will only get you if you let it.
Gaining weight due to comfort food in the first couple weeks is inevitable. Surprisingly, most of us gained weight in our necks. Looking like a turkey is not how we all pictured the weight gain. But most dining halls provide health friendly options and gyms are usually included in tuition so the Freshman 15 can be avoided and it should be. Thanksgiving break is brutal because you know that's when the claws of judgement come out. Personally speaking, I force myself to put away the leggings, elephant pants and sweats for one day a week and I wear jeans to make sure I still fit in them.
9. Not everyone is like your hometown.
There is 100% going to be people that call carbonated beverages soda or pop. There will be those who call it a hero whereas you call it a hoagie. There will be an LGBT community among other diverse groups. Not everyone is going to be the small town image and that is normal. College is a new group of people to gain acceptance for. Just because others aren't your beliefs, morals or ethnicity, it doesn't mean you can't accept them. Freshman year has taught me that everyone is different in the best way and becoming friends with those who aren't ideally what you've known turns out for the best.
Freshman year is just chapter one of the next three to come. We are here for our education first and foremost. However, there are plenty of other lessons to learn. College not only is a time to develop but also to expand your horizons. Throughout the next three years I'm sure there will be plenty more pearls of wisdom for my necklace.
