Coming into this year, I was desperate for a job. I would've taken anything I could get my hands on. (Un)fortunately, the first place that responded to my application was a restaurant. Quickly I learned that serving was not the job for me. Clumsy and awkward, I tripped (both literally and figuratively) throughout the semester and the restaurant, all the while praying that something would create an opportunity for me to leave.
And I found it. But it's probably not something that you'd guess. How often do you meet someone who works in a funeral home? People are always surprised when they find out. Their eyes grow wide and they always have a million questions. So here are 11 things you'll understand if you work at a funeral home.
1. That look they give you when they find out
Close your mouth, put your eyes back in your head. It's not weird.
2. No, we're not all creepy weirdos.
I feel like my profession is a lot like teachers. No one ever thinks that teachers have lives outside the classroom. Those of us who work at a funeral home also have lives on the outside. Most of my coworkers are married with kids. Weird, right?
3. The "death" puns don't stop.
"How was work today? A little dead?" My personal favorites are the part-pun, part-pickup lines: "Boy, I bet they're dying to meet you." "You look so good, I've gone stone-cold."
4. "Are there ~dEaD~ bodies there?"
...yes?...it's a funeral home?
5. "Do you touch them?"
Honestly, I try not to, but if it comes down to it...
6. "What else is there to do besides move bodies?"
There's actually a ton of paperwork involved in the funeral home business. I spend most of my time answering phone calls, filing paperwork, and assisting at services.
7. "Isn't it super sad all the time?"
Sometimes it can be really depressing. Especially when handling the loss of children and young people. However most of the time it's older people who have already lived a full life or it's someone who's struggled with a terrible illness for a long time. It's still sad, but you know they're not suffering anymore.
9."What made you decide that you could work in a funeral home?"
You mean other than the fact I was broke and needed money? I enjoy helping people. And when a loved one passes, it makes me feel better knowing that there's someone there who can help.
10. The funeral home isn't haunted.
Think about it. If you died, would the first place you'd want to haunt be a funeral home where your body is housed for a couple days with people you don't know? Probably not. Their spirits are much more likely to stay where they died or somewhere that they loved in real life (or Heaven, if you believe in that kind of stuff).
11. Everyone dies one day
If there's anything I learned from working here, its that. I'm not going to escape it, you're not going to escape it, not even your mom is going to escape it (as much as you wish she'll live forever). I've learned to treasure the people around me a little more every day because one day they may not be there anymore. I've learned that I have to do everything I can with my life. I don't want to be on my death bed and look back at my life and realize that I've accomplished nothing that I wanted. I'd much rather have regrets from doing something that I shouldn't have then spending the entirety of my life wondering what would've happened if I'd did it. I'm constantly reminded that one day my time will be up, and I can honestly say that I'm okay with that.
